Bye, Bye, Bottom Boys: Wednesday, October 28th, 2026

0:00Good morning, girlies, it's the toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast-fired things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's the toast. They sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast and Happy and happy hump day it's a great hump day to be alive it is i've been looking forward to this episode because because yesterday you told me you had something you wanted to tell me but you couldn't tell me because you wanted to tell me on the toast so much let me tell you i've thought about it like four times let me tell you i was driving in and i thought of something else i wanted to tell you how does someone remind me tate mccray okay and then i was thinking i was like i feel I thought of something else I wanted to tell you. Does someone remind me Tate McRae?

0:45Okay. And then I was thinking, I was like, I feel like there was other things I wanted to talk about on the show. You told me that you asked Zach if he had a gun to his head. I have all the answers. Okay. So on the Patreon, Claudia. Oh, we didn't share this story on the post. But we did clip it. We clipped it. So most people have seen it. Okay. I told everyone that like over the weekend I was torturing Ben being like, if I died, which one of my sisters would you want to marry and he was like none of them and literally for an hour yeah i begged him and eventually he said he relinquished and he said jackie because they have a lot of fun together um and then the more i thought about it it's like a beautiful

1:15story that like you would become ruby's like mother and i actually ship you two and i'm really looking forward to it and then we were thinking like what would the other husbands in our family say so you asked your husband and you told me me like, ask my husband, you know, give it some time and then ask him. I didn't have to ask him because he saw our clip and he said, oh, supportive king. He said, oh, so Ben said he would choose you. And I was like, yeah, isn't that cool? Isn't that so cute? He was like, well, what about me? Like, I'm still around in this situation. I was like, stop. It's hypothetical. Obviously he came to mind when we were having the conversation, but it was so unimportant.

1:46It's not. We're outside the bounds of reality. I'm alive. So am I. What about me? Like, please. Like, it's hypothetical. He could not wrap his mind around the hypothetical. But then did you ask him? Of course I did. I said, so who would you want to if you had to be with a sister? And he said, and we had this conversation on the show about what we thought he would say. This is on the Patreon. He said, probably Margot. That's what I said. That's what you said. And it's like, I know my husband better than himself because I know that's the wrong answer for him. Yeah, of course. They would not get along. They would not get along at all. She would honestly be terrible for him. And I was like, really?

2:21Like not, and I was like, you just like Margot now because she's like out of our hair and you think that that's like what it would be like. Right. But I was like, I? Like, not. And I was like, you just like Margot now because she's like out of our hair. And you think that that's like what it would be like. Right. But I was like, I think it should be Olivia. Like, I think you and Olivia. Are compatible. He was like, oh, no, no. I'm like, no, I think that's actually like exactly. I literally told you he would say Margot. But it's only because like absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm telling you, he has no idea. He's in for a world of pain. Oh, my God. Like meanest wife ever. A world of pain.

2:48Hilarious. And he was like, then after that, he was like, but I'm around, whatever. I'm like, we play these hypothetical games all the time. Like, who's your celebrity crush? Right. He was like, who is your celebrity crush? And I was like, we were just saying, like, I don't have one. I was like, you know, it's like hard for me because I just think everyone's a moron. And just like with- Oh, so you would say you look down on everyone. I would say I look down on everyone. So like, it that simple for me and he was like hmm and he started to think he was like what about Chris Pratt I said what about Chris Pratt yeah you are often like defending him randomly he is a family man does he like you are there works of his that like you really like yes Bride Wars

3:24of course Bride Wars of course but that's like oh gee that you really like yes bride wars of course bride wars of course but that's like oh gee that's a fat chris pratt of course but i don't want i don't watch parks and rec i don't watch guardians of the galaxy like avengers type no but like he's a family man like real family values he's so cute good christian values good christian values that's so you he's so cute he's very handsome i think that's crush. And my husband, he knows me better than I know myself. That's really beautiful that he navigated you there. So I had two answers for you today. I love that. Then when I was- We could double date. Me, you, Joe Jonas. Or me, I was thinking you were going to say me, you, Ben.

3:59No. And our celebrity crushes. Would our celebrity crushes get along? Joe Jonas and Chris Pratt. Like, why not? Literally, why not? I don't see why not. Actually, his dad was a pastor. My boyfriend, Joe. Chris is a man of faith. So alert, alert. I have a celebrity crush. Alert the church elders. She has a crush. Then I wanted to talk about Tate McRae. Because I was listening to new music in the car. And her new song, Housewife, came on. I just want to make her mine. I'm enjoying this song. I feel like she's speaking to me just not speaking to herself yeah right um who is this song for and then have you seen the cover art for the song i'm sure that i have let me see because it struck me and i would love to get your thoughts she looks so different no oh people are

4:41having the conversation about like she her looking so different well she looks great oh pushing the baby the silver cross in a bikini oh and the in the silver cross is money i didn't know there was money i just assumed it was there's like a baby in there too because like what are you pushing a stroller for no there's no baby in there it's just money um you want me to give my thoughts on this? Yeah. She has a beautiful physique. I didn't like it. Okay. I don't love it either, but I can't tell you why. I know. That's how I felt too. I was like trying to form my argument in my head. I'm like, I just feel like people are going to like really hate what I have to say. And also it's like, I'm not saying it properly, but all I'll say is like something about that hit me wrong.

5:23Okay. And you know what you're excited to feel that way? Is Steve McRae pushing a stroller? Is that, that hit me wrong. Okay. That's what I'll say. And you know what? You're entitled to feel that way. Is Steve McRae pushing a stroller? Is that what she's doing? That's what I thought. I said she's pushing a stroller. Yeah. No words. You know what? Let me. In a bikini too. It's like, I don't know. It's offensive to mothers. Well, let me bring up a conversation about mothers that's being had that I would love to hear your thoughts on. I think I know what it is. So Paris Hilton is currently going viral because she shared her halloween costume her and her whole family dressed up as beauty and the beast and people are kind of

5:50freaking out because she's bell and her daughter who like assuming we're assuming is like the beauty and the beast fan is dressed up as there's a little bit of controversy as to whether she's chip or mrs potts but the consensus is that she's mrs potts and then paris hilton actually commented that she's chip um and a lot of people are like really put off by this because like why wouldn't you make the daughter the princess and I've actually seen interesting discourse when I first saw people pointing it out I was like oh yeah that is weird like why is like you making this about yourself but then someone else was like I hate when families dress up as like Disney characters like the dad is the prince and the daughter's a princess and the mom is like the frog like

6:23moms get no respect that's a separate argument and Paris did comment saying the daughter wanted to be Mrs. Potts let me explain to you how I saw it and like I can wrap this thing up in a bow because if you've been following Paris Hilton forever which I have she does Halloween every year big photo shoot etc I saw this photo organically on my timeline and I was like oh she's doing her Halloween shoot and this time she has her kids in it but it's about her this is her social media I don't think this was her kids trick-or-treating they haven't they haven't gone I think they just literally did a photo shoot because she does that every year I don't think this was her kids Halloween it was like hey come be an extra in my photo shoot mommy's working yeah right because mommy does

6:59this every Halloween and now that we have kids we can have some background characters but I'm the princess right don't get it twisted but I don't think it was like in any way having anything to do with her kids like this was just like Paris's Halloween photo shoot and she's certainly not gonna be Mrs. Potts separately from that I agree the mom doesn't have to be the frog yeah and it's like of course the dad is the prince and like the princess is the daughter but like where does that leave room for mom is that always I guess I don't have daughters, so I don't really know how it always is. Like, I'm always just like the token female in the group. Of course, which you're very blessed. You know, we talk a lot about, you know, we're not going to have anyone to take care of us when we're older.

7:34But sort of being boy mamas, we do get the good costume. I got to be Princess Fiona. Huge honor. A huge win. Like when we do superheroes i'm wonder woman um so i i think yeah i feel bad about whatever other people are going through if you've had to be a frog yeah but i think this is so paris hilton it's like you're looking both if you're looking at it backwards though you're looking you're seeing it as kids first and i see everything as kids first but like this is just paris's usual halloween content and now she gets to put her kids in it and isn't that so cute kids first and I see everything as kids first but like this is just Paris's usual Halloween content and now she gets to put her kids in it and isn't that so cute I'm excited to announce that we have

8:09a new picture frame for our businessman of the week who we discovered yesterday is a gentleman named Shel Silverstein what was his name Steven Silverstein literally same thing um he is the CEO of one of the greatest establishments of all time Spirit Halloween we respect his hustle we respect their business model and we're excited to welcome him to the businessman of the week family i will be placing him on the shelf behind me great job steven also i was gonna say family costumes oftentimes depend on what is available at spirit halloween because it's an inventory issue because when we went to spirit halloween this weekend it was based on gender yeah and gender yeah except we were gonna we don't really

8:48gender bend we haven't but i would have you would have yeah maybe when we had our other idea of all being far quads oh yeah yeah but gender i mean uh lord farquad is a gender fluid character i agree i don't think he belongs to one specific gender. That's just how Sue sees it. Yeah, and that's just on the fact that Spirit Halloween had bottomless inventory for Shrek. Now, today's episode is not sponsored by Spirit Halloween. It is, though, sponsored by McDonald's, one of our favorite partners. I had McDonald's for lunch yesterday. I figured all this talk about McDonald's, and I haven't had it in a while. And I found myself near a McDonald's in the car. Eating McDonald's is kind of reserved for the car. I can't remember the last time. Actually, I can remember the last time I found myself near a McDonald's in the car. Eating McDonald's is like kind of reserved for the car.

9:26I can't remember the last time. Actually, I can remember the last time I ate at a physical McDonald's. And that was when I went to the McDonald's in Israel. Because it's more of like an experience. Everything's kosher. You can really eat whatever you want. But no, I ate in the car. And I made a TikTok, of course. It was one of like the best 20 minutes of my life. You didn't post to Reels for the Reels Mamas? I didn't post to Reels. I meant to, actually. And I forgot. I was going to post it on the toast. You should post to Reels. I know. I'm like constantly making content on TikTok and forgetting about my Reels Mamas? I didn't post to Reels. I meant to actually and I forgot. I was going to post it on the toast.

9:45You should post to Reels. I know. I'm like constantly making content on TikTok and forgetting about my Reels community. Yeah, I've been posting to Reels and I'm having a lot of fun because I've realized Reels doesn't have to be so serious. You've realized? I've realized. And I've noticed other creators, they post to Reels the way that I would have posted to Stories. And that's the mentality on TikTok too. It's like nobody cares how many times you post or I'm starting to like strip that away that nothing we grew up in like the blogger era of Instagram where like it was very curated you had to post x amount of times today nothing more nothing less it had to be like highly um edited and no the kids these days they don't react well to that yeah no like everything

10:22is just like come as you are that's beautiful so i'm sort of going through like a real conversion conversion therapy last night was also dancing with the stars which is our lead story and i don't think we should dilly dally too much because yeah no i feel like we covered a lot i have a celebrity crush my husband would marry margo and he would live to regret it and i sat at a traffic light begging you and olivia to take him back a thousand percent and we'd say no like we tested you and Olivia to take him back? A thousand percent. And we'd say no. Like we tested you and you failed. Totally. And then just like a personal anecdote is that I sat at a red light for nine minutes. It was so crazy. I was kind of experiencing a psychosis

10:54through the nine minutes. I thought for sure that the light was broken. Like I diagnosed it. It definitely, it was not functioning properly. Because it was a turning. I won't bore you guys with the details, but it was turning left. I guess other states have lanes like this. I mean, the roads here are insane. It's like a six lane, not a highway, just like a turning. I won't bore you guys with the details, but it was turning left. I guess other states have lanes like this. I mean, the roads here are insane. It's like a six lane, not a highway, just like a road. Everyone going straight, got a green light. Of course, I'm going left, so I don't get my light yet. I got a special left arrow. It's like not coming.

11:16And I've noticed that the people who are going straight have now gotten their third green light. And you know that the left arrow comes on right before your straights go straight. Exactly. So I realized that it might be broken and people around me are definitely having the same sort of experience. They start leaving and I'm in a position like I'm at the outermost lane. I can't leave. So I'm like, what do you do in a situation like that? Let's say the light never changed. Like, what do you do? Yeah, you have to. That's like you have to take matters into your own hands. And like for how I would have had to. It's actually a bit of a societal experiment because it's like how long will you blindly follow?

11:49Exactly. And I guess like nine minutes in the grand scheme of the world is not a lot. Unabomber would hate that. You know what? I was also thinking of the Unabomber because I was like, I'm serious. I was getting so angry. It was definitely a societal experiment. Yeah. I failed. Actually, no, I mean, what do you consider succeeding? I sat there like a moron like everyone else. You sort of failed. Yeah. You failed. Actually, you know, I mean, what do you consider succeeding? I sat there like a moron, like everyone else. You sort of failed. Yeah. You failed like the human test. But the people who left and then found another route, they also failed because the light did eventually change, you know?

12:17Yeah. I think you failed more. And let me tell you this, not to blame you, but I did take your shortcut. One of my hacks. And I will never be taking it again. It's not perfect that was, I've been taking it. I've been taking that hack a lot. And I meant to tell you that it's a great little shortcut. Never again. I didn't know that. I had a negative experience yesterday, so I didn't do it today. And when I lived in my old house and I would drive here, there was one perfect way for me. Like after troubleshooting it, I would never switch it up. Now I'm realizing like every day is different based on just like traffic from my route now like there's no perfect route let me tell you the one I took today was an imperfect route that was me yesterday I'm sorry that happened you should have

12:54told me like I literally I was so mad and I left so early I was like I'm gonna get there so early time maybe I'll get out like a croissant no I was so late like literally so late I'm cracking okay well let's get into the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by got to be lock your look in with the travel friendly got to be wax stick you can use it for everyday slick styles gym sessions travel touch-ups or polished looks for nights out and special occasions so if you love a slick back look or if you're prone to a frizzy a frizz every now and then or you live in a warm climate and the frizz is really getting to you it is so important

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18:23J-U-R-T. Our first story, Dancing with the Stars recap. It was Halloween horror night with guest judge Shirley Ballas, who is my new favorite person. Literally make Shirley Ballas a permanent judge. Yes. She brings such a level of seriousness. And I felt like the other judges were kind of put on their ass a little bit. And I could tell as the night progressed, everyone doing like a little bit more critiquing even though I found a lot of the times especially with Carrie Ann and Derek every time they got their moment to talk they like didn't know what they wanted to say yeah Carrie Ann like of course she forgot that one thing say one time a lot of times they were like my friend that was like they

19:00didn't know what they were going to say and it's like I actually think Shirley because coming with very technical direct and people were DMing me like yes Claudia you love Shirley but she gave Tatiana a four and the thing is I love Tatiana but maybe she deserved a four like I I respect the seriousness with which she took her job she even brought her little shoes that was so cute and so helpful obsessed helpful to the contestants and helpful to the people at home let's go through the dancing. Well, it started off crazy because Julia Stiles went first and Julia Stiles got a four. People haven't gotten fours since like week two. So it really set the tone. And obviously I've been hard on Julia Stiles.

19:35So I really appreciated the fact that like we weren't just like going off of her lore. Like everything thus far has been like. And everybody's scores are going up. And it's like in the beginning they were starting with like fives and sixes just so that there was room to grow but now the judges have left behind fives and sixes because that would be like kind of cruel but not surely no she don't give a fuck and the dance stunk the dance stunk um their facial reactions when she pulled out a four and they also not only the fours like which was obviously shocking they got sevens like that was she had the lowest scores pretty much of anyone and their faces were insane I don't know if you noticed she like was not there for the rest of the episode

20:08like I didn't see her in the background a lot of people weren't in the skybox and I didn't know who was who were those people in the skybox I was like do I just not recognize them in their costume or I meet new people I meet a new troop member every week because I'm like why is there an actual stranger in the skybox yeah it's a troop member whom I haven't and they were all in costume so I was giving grace to myself for not knowing who anyone was yeah it also was made worse by the fact that julie was wearing like pale gray makeup because she looked like ash in the way you would think she would look after the blood drained from her face the blood was actually drained from her face before and it was painted on it wasn't a good dance um once again package left nothing to be

20:41desired yeah oh ezra and her like got into a tiff oh wait that was like low-key awkward um and I actually felt bad for Ezra yeah and I feel that like what what style did she do she did Argentine tango I think which I think two other people did and it's clearly one of the harder ones and I feel like and I felt this way you know up until this week is that her dances are like usually kind of easy and I feel like this was the first time she was really challenged and she kind of like. Didn't rise to the occasion. Yeah. Also, I would say a lot of the dances were a hot mess last night, given the fact that it's Halloween Horror Night. You're dancing about a movie. You're in costume. You're doing the Argentine tango and you have like horror music playing.

21:23And it's like a skit too. It's acting. And it was some of the people when it's done you have like horror music playing. And it's like a skit too. It's acting. And it was some of the people when it's done well, like really nailed it. But a lot of it was like really messy and just too much going on. And ever since you said like a couple of weeks ago, how much better the show would be if everybody danced the same style. I feel like last night was even more. I really would have appreciated everyone dancing the same because doing a contemporary and doing an Argentine tango are so different. Especially on Halloween night. Doing a contemporary on Halloween night doing a contemporary on Halloween night is a skit a slam dunk of course Connor but I'm also thinking of um you know that iconic

21:54Iman Shumpert and Daniela Carrera Halloween dance um it's just they go hand in hand the Argentine tango and the Rocky Horror Picture Show don't really. Don't necessarily. And then like the throwing of the movies in. It was confusing. There was a lot going on. Why wasn't like Halloween enough of a theme? Right. With just like a Halloween song and costumes. But we also have to tell the story of the movie. Of the movie. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe like Hulu is launching a new horror section on Hulu. Well, next week is Disney night but it's Disney Broadway. So I have a feeling we'll be hearing all about the 10 Things I Hate About You production that's going into. Oh, you think? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was gonna,

22:32it means like Beauty and the Beast, Lion King. Yes, of course. No, but I think we'll hear about it too. Like maybe, you know how they do their sponsorships. Yeah, interesting. Okay, then Harry Shum Jr. and Janet Johnson got the first perfect score of the season. 40 out of 40. They danced for the movie Saw, a rendition of Toxic. And what was their style? It doesn't say here. I thought it was great. I've kind of turned a corner on Harry Shum and Janet Dewan in the sense that they still, I really don't connect with them on any level. But I can appreciate the fact that they are insanely talented. They will both make the top four, but I doubt either of them will win because they really don't have fans in the sense of like people from the show who are getting to know them.

23:15Like everybody comes with X amount of fans and then you get new fans as you go because you know, you're introduced to new audiences. And I just don't find either of them like particularly personally compelling, but the dances, both of them were insane. Yeah, they danced really well this one in particular didn't like stir anything in me and for it to be the first perfect score of the season is just kind of a bummer because it wasn't like that Jordan Fisher moment I've been waiting for no but the fact that Shirley gave them a 10 like she has my blind loyalty and trust I was like oh it must have been it's a 10 then it's a 10 Shirley says it's a 10 it's a 10 like and that's what a judge should be like a trusted source.

23:46Then Tatiana and Jan, they did the Paso Doble for dancing to Sinners. Like, I don't know how to describe what people are doing. I felt really awkward because like Shirley, who has her facts and her technical critiques, was really coming for Jan, which is just such a bad place to be. And I guess like he didn't have like some key moves that are required to like be considered a paso doble so I think when they got saved he was so really like what's worse than getting sent home and like the pro fucked up like yeah you're really not supposed to do that but it's also like was he watering down the dance to meet her where she's maybe and if he put in all that stuff it would have been a mess yeah i really love tatiana and i find that like when i love her dances it's because of her

24:30personality shining through and she's like sharing stuff with us i don't know if i necessarily like love her technique right um and so last that's okay too yeah of course last night no nobody got really personal last night like no one was sharing i mean it's hard to get personal on halloween horror night especially after the momentum of Dedication Night. It's like, OK, we can just take a beat for a second and have fun. Yeah. And so I didn't have fun while watching her. She's still my queen. And I did vote for her because I felt like she was on the chopping block. And I didn't vote for anyone except Tatiana because I felt that she needed my votes. And I felt good about that. I noticed I wasn't voting for anyone.

25:02Nothing made me feel anything last night. I did wind up voting for Tyler because I was feeling bad and nervous for him. Yeah. So then we have Jenna Dewan and Val Shmerkovsky. They are back together. They did the Argentine tango to a zombie themed movie. It was sick. It was amazing. And they did a dress. Oh, yeah. He briefly addressed. I'm sorry for like the chaos and I shouldn't put you in that position. Beautiful. It was sick. It was amazing. And it should address. Oh, yeah. He briefly addressed. I'm sorry for like the chaos. And I shouldn't put you in that position. Beautiful. They did their dance, which was amazing. Jenna's doing amazing. And like they're she's similar to Harry Shum, but like I'm feeling it from her.

25:34Of course. And I'm rooting for her. And I think she's really impressive. And I think a lot of people forget like her, Julia and Tatiana are all the same age. Yeah. I've had similar careers. And like Jenna is just off the charts amazing. Yeah. They did also sort of lay down their arms, like Carrie Ann and Val. She gave him like a huge praise for his choreography. And I feel like let's officially move on. No, no, I've already moved on. Me too. Her dance was insane. I actually felt bad that like there was, I didn't even notice the dress thing. But the three other judges did. And like she also deserved a perfect score she did i like that they locked in their scores before the judges deliberated because derrick had

26:08no idea so if you didn't see it you wouldn't know um because otherwise that was a perfect dance better than harry's agreed then we had connor wood and riley arnold they danced to the movie annabelle you are my sunshine and they did a contemporary they got his highest scores of the season including two tens for a total of 37 out of 40. So when I was watching it, I was like, this is a huge improvement. Like his, he did like a couple of flips in the air, like, and he really looked like a dancer, not like a struggling star. And I was really, like, I enjoyed it, but I enjoy a lot of Connors and they're always like coming for him. So when the judges were saying it was so amazing and gave him 10s, I was like, oh, wait, it

26:46was like I felt and this is the kind of goes back to what we were talking to. I'm so glad for him because I feel like they've been really hard on him and it just must be like so. And I feel like that was Tyler last night to keep trying. It's something and like keep being told it's not good enough. Like it's very exhausting. And at some point you just don't want to do it anymore. And I think that's what happened with Tyler last night. So for Fibula, who's like maintained his positive attitude the whole time to finally be rewarded I felt really happy for him but when I compared it to other dances I feel like there wasn't like a lot of dancing like it was more of a skit and that's where it felt like someone doing the Argentine

27:15tango being judged on the same basis as this it feels a little uneven yeah because like he got the same score as Jenna in total as Jenna And what he was doing and what Jenna was doing were not the same. But everything else, aside from like all the dancing and the difficulty level of the moves, like the whole skit and the routine, like what Riley choreographed was really amazing. Yeah. And I think all of that, like if you have five buckets you need to fill up, like four were completely filled. And if the other one was almost half, it's 37 out of 40 out of 40 100 no i was so happy that he got a good score like it was you could see on his face he had he literally like i don't think he ever thought he would see

27:54a 10 in his life that would be like tyler getting a 10 and sometimes like when you do the dance you think you crush it and then you go hear the judges and they're like you stink like i think it's very it's like it must be like really like a fucked up thing where it's like, did I do good? I think I did. And then you get told you didn't. And so I'm sure he was just used to being like, I'm sure. And they say nothing bad. Like that must be a thrill. Yeah. Then Ezra Frech and Daniela Karagash, they danced to The Invisible Man. They did jazz. It was not their best. He is in having like an injury right now because he has a blister on his leg which is like rubbing up against his prosthetic which is apparently very painful yes I'm learning

28:29so much about the prosthetic community and how that's like a common issue and he said normally I just like lay around without my leg for three days but I can't do that um and I felt like in the dance carrying was funny she was like you know you should be so proud I didn't like feel like you looked like you were in pain and actually when I was watching I was like I feel like he's in pain he was a little bit behind um listen everyone's allowed to have an off night he's still my winner and you know in order to experience the highs you have to go through the lows so like it was never going to be completely smooth sailing for him I just hope that he feels better soon and of course like they weren't even in danger of going home last night

28:59so feel free to take the night off a A hundred percent. He should take one whole day off. Like let your leg breathe. But yeah, it wasn't my favorite. No, and it wasn't meant to be and it wasn't their best. But he's still my number one. Oh, back to Jenna and Val. I just want to like discuss like the neck licking. Yes. So there was one part in the dance where they like literally touched mouths. And I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. And then at the end, like he's like a vampire biting her neck. And I saw discourse online like he might have had like a blood capsule in his mouth that he was trying to pop. So he had to keep biting to get it to pop. I don't care. Like, it's weird. It was weird.

29:37Yeah, it was weird. And like I watched it. I thought it was weird. And no one was telling me about the blood capsule at the time. So I couldn't help how I felt. Now I did see that. And I'm like, okay, sure. And then he ended the dance like behind her. And I feel like he like whispered something sexy in her ear. Like I'm telling you. No, I feel like he was still dealing with that capsule, not realizing how it looks to the rest of the world. It was weird. Then Savannah Bananas, Jackson Olsen, and Emma Slater danced to That's Life by Frank Sinatra, inspired by the Joker. It's unfortunate that he went home on the week where he did have the most improvement, but it was time for him to go. He was on borrowed time.

30:15Oh, 1,000%. And I kind of feel, I feel like people are not going to like this. I feel similar to how I felt last week, where like the choreography, like the whole shtick was like so corny and like so obvious, like low-hanging fruit. Like what they dance to Nat King Cole and like they're matching tuxedos and then they dance to Frank Sinatra and they're matching tuxedos. Like it was like very cruise ship. I liked it, but I don't think it- But it was his best dance. It doesn't meet the bar anymore. And there's a lot of people who are like, we have the leaders and then the people who are just circling the bottom, as Tyler called them, the bottom boys. He didn't realize what that means in gay culture um so he just keeps referring

30:49to him and jackson as the bottom and they were most certainly the bottom boys last night and they both went home um but there's a lot of people who are like not in contention and it's just time to start shuffling through them like we've they've got all the courtesy time they had last week they didn't go home and now it's time to get serious. So if he has to go and Tyler has to go, I understand. The competition does eventually move forward. Then we have Tyler Cameron and Sharna Burgess. They danced a Viennese waltz to Love Song for a Vampire. Now, I was really shook at Tyler's look. Ben was barely paying attention. I didn't recognize him. I mean, either Ben was barely paying attention and he was like, who's he dressed up as? Johnny Depp?

31:24And I was like, no, actually. He looked so different. I never want to see him in that wig ever again. The eyes. I didn't recognize his face. And what's funny is that, like, all these moments are going viral of Tyler. Because, like, he got bad scores. And he, like, sort of walked away. And then he wouldn't hold Char in his hand. You could tell he was so fucking over it. And, like, all of these moments. And he's, like, in this wig. Yeah. Just unfortunate. It's really silly you know i'm i'm glad he got tyler i love him dearly but like he was not gonna win so like i'm glad he got to make it to dedication i'd have this huge moment and like you know what go take care of tate like let let's okay the second half of the pregnancy be about tate yeah i feel like he's probably

31:58relieved to have gone home because he's in the same boat as fibula was being like you're working so hard every single day just for every time like to get bad scores like at some point it's seriously not worth it anymore it's so like dehumanizing far and away the lowest scores he got 26 out of 40 what did julia nezer get 26 out of 40 yeah julia was like never going to watch you guys in terms of the bottom girls people just like assume she's like in the top of the pack but she's one to watch yeah i know she just like is getting far based on like her star quality yeah um and like uh there's a couple people that will probably go or one or two i think do you think tatiana will go before her or after her before unfortunately and then her yeah like fibula was

32:41a bottom boy but he's not anymore if he needs to have another good week to sort of cement himself out of the bottom for now um but yeah okay then amber glenn and pasha pashkov the argentine tango for black swan yeah the black swan was the only movie that made sense like everyone else's movies i was like how does this relate to you or your family like i totally understood and it was really good. Yeah. They got 36 out of 40. I mean, they're always good. It always doesn't really do anything for me, but it's nice dancing to watch. Agreed. Then Maura Higgins and Mark Ballas. We need to talk about Maura. So she, they danced. Argentine tango. To Cry Little Sister from the Lost Boys. Like what? What?

33:22I don't even know what I'm reading. Objection. Relevance. And they got 32 out of 40. So she started off so strong. And that's like a bad spot to be in. Like such an untapped talent. And so random too. People were like, we're not expecting that. The last, I would say, three weeks have been very lackluster. Now this might just be like, you know, their dip on their way back to the top. Or it might be a plateau because for now I'm not seeing her as a top four finalist no last night was the first night where I was like I don't think she's going to be top four because the dancing isn't as good as Jenna Harry Amber and then whatever Ezra Ezra right the dancing is not as good and I don't think she has as many fans who

34:01are or die hard voting yeah and I also feel like she started off really strong, like with her personality coming through also. And I just think a lot like it's it's an exhausting process. So as you have like just less to give, you know, I just want to rehearse. And so I find that she's like shining less both on the dance floor, but also like as a personality. And yeah, I no longer she's no longer a guaranteed fourth top four. No, not at all. I would actually just say the people we just said. Yeah. Because I, of course, Ezra. Of course, Jenna. I think Harry too. And then I do think Amber, unless she has to go to that skating competition. Yeah, I read that like, these are theories that like she has to leave at a certain point

34:39because like the season starts. Well, let me just say like last night, like, a dip for me as well. Yeah. Like, we got to get rid of this. There's a lot of dancing. Not good dancing. We've been watching six weeks now. I need better dancing. Yeah. Like, your first dance was better than your sixth. And so I was sad to see Banana and Tyler go, but I'm glad we cut, too, so that we can cut to the chase. Let's do one more double elimination. Like, honestly. It's still too many people. Yeah. More was last. Oh, yeah. They didn't, like, make a big deal of the fact that, like, Mark was being people yeah more was last oh yeah they didn't like make a big deal of the fact like mark was being judged by his mom no they didn't um i kind

35:09of wish that they did um but they had they really had to maintain the integrity of the whole process but i love shirley like seriously i said this last week with kim herjavec but shirley ballas if i had to choose like shirley ballas should be who would you you replace? No, a fourth. Okay, sure. You need to have like a nice one, a mean one, and a middle one. And so Shirley is technically the mean one. Bruno's the nice one. So Derek, they say that Derek was supposed to be brought in to like be that sort of Simon Cowell figure. And I don't find that he's like that at all. And I don't think he wants to be that guy. Unliked. So him and Carrie Ann, they're always like repeating each other. So they are duplicative. If you

35:48need three like you have to get rid of one of them and I actually don't care. What if we got rid of Bruno? He's just doing a lot. I know. And I don't know the value that it adds. I know it's not nice to say that because like he's Bruno. Well I think people like the contestants like it's hard to just like hear from three people like so because like he's Bruno. Well, I think people like the contestants, like it's hard to just like hear from three people like so harsh. Like he is this sort of like soft landing spot. She really wasn't so harsh. She said nice things about people too. She just like scored critically, but like she didn't say mean things. Yeah. I think Carrie Ann, like say what you want about her.

36:19She does always give good feedback in terms of like what you could be doing better. And I think Carrie Ann is such a Paula Abdul. Like she says it in a be doing better and I think she's so vague sometimes I think Carrie Ann is such a Paula Abdul like she says it in a nice way you guys think she's being mean you don't even know mean no and you were shocked to meet Shirley last night and she has like the the resume to back it up like she knows what she's talking about no Carrie Ann is safe to me Derek is like this new next gen so that they sort of like have to keep him I like Derek and last night he said something just like so Derekrick what he said i forget he just was like being such a showman and i'm like

36:49it could only be derrick did you see coach jackie did i tell you about coach jackie no i used to talk about her during love island she does those um recaps she would be like here's my honest unedited thoughts on today's episode of love island she opens up her notebook and reads her um takes are always like really funny and like very similar to like what we think and she just says it out loud and so she's been doing that with dancing with the stars like she comes so hard for derrick derrick of course was up in her comments like he likes to be like always starting stuff and she literally she took the beef like so hard that to the point that they invited her to dance with the stars her and derrick dressed up and did a skit as sue sylvester and will schuster um because she's like

37:24her whole shtick is not actually reality TV. She's like a female sports, women's sports commentator. And they invited her and she's like always coming. You know how when like Alfonso's talking and Derek's like leans out, she hates that. So did you see last night? He leaned out and she got up and pushed him. Like it was a skit. Like it was really funny. Is she coach Sue? For sure. She was coach Sue. He was Mr. He's so Mr. Schuster. Is she coach Sue? For sure. She was coach Sue. He was Mr. He's so Mr. Schuster. 1000% he wore the curly wig. It was hilarious. I'll send it to you as hilarious. That's really funny. Yeah. Yeah. Put me down as, oh my God, I sound like Adam Brody. Put me down as liking Derek Hough.

37:56And put me down as thinking it's a genocide. Such a weird way to say it. You guys, we haven't really spoken about the drama. We spoke about it on Patreon. A little bit. But like, oh yeah, because I put him as a headband. Yes, that's where we to say it. You guys, we haven't really spoken about the drama. We spoke about it on Patreon. A little bit. But like, oh yeah, because I put him as a headband. Yes, that's where we talked about it. Oh yeah, we didn't. That's where we talked about it. Because the new season of... But it's sort of like really like breaking up the community, don't you think? I know. I feel so torn because Nobody Wants This, obviously season three just came out. And while they were doing press, like Adam Brody had some really unsavory things to say

38:21about Israel. And it's like you're on a show that literally is like the only safe place like for Jews. And it's just like it's this beloved show. And it's like people like it's so accurate. It's just like sweet. And it's like such a harmless show. It's supposed to be fun. And their whole thing is they don't talk about Israel. They don't talk about anything like geopolitical. It's just about Judaism in America. It was created by Erin Foster. And she's like, this is very much a love letter to Judaism. I converted for my husband. And like I love being Jewish. Like it all comes from such a great place. And it was just so disappointing that like a lot of people are like not wanting to watch the show now which I totally understand but it's like then we're punishing Aaron Foster and like this

38:52great show but it's like why the fuck would we want to watch Adam Brody like it it's definitely dividing the community I feel divided I really do I don't I literally don't know like who to boycott you know yeah I'm not a boycotter either yeah so it's just been it's been annoying like honestly it's been actually just a great inconvenience yeah very interesting so that's your dancing with the stars recap like hoping for better better times next week Cynthia Reville will be guest judging I don't know how that's gonna go like because she is so serious running out of goodwill she is a bald woman running out of goodwill and i don't know but like will she she does come from broadway and if that's like i think she might bring like that sort of expertise i like expertise yeah she doesn't

39:37know shit about fuck when it comes to dance i guess i also liked joe buck and he was not an expert i haven't not liked a single guest judge it's true so sure bring it on maybe this is like one thing to get our q score back up yeah it's true i do like them okay yeah are you ready for our next story it's only number two we actually have really good stories today taylor swift and travis kelsey's extravagant wedding decor was burned immediately after the ceremony so taylor and travis's lav wedding, which one expert estimated cost $3 million. No way. Their wedding. 30. Oh, sorry, 30. Sorry, I said 30. I'm like, what do you mean not 30? No, 30. 30. Yeah. 30. Reportedly ended with their custom made decor being burned.

40:18A source told the Daily Mail on Tuesday that her team instructed crew members to, quote, dispose of the extravagant decorations to ensure there weren't any traces left behind. They didn't want people to steal it and then auction it or sell it, so they just burned it all. The custom-built furnishings, which included monogrammed items featuring, you know, their wedding logo of two interlocking tees, garden-like structures, were reportedly transported from New York to Pennsylvania, where they were originally built, to be burned. Quote, they had told us it was going to be incinerated, but I don't know where they actually physically incinerated it. The source said the sets were transported in 11 semi-trucks

40:52that were reportedly super-packed, went to Pennsylvania to be destroyed. The fact that no one has relics of it and it all had to get burned and properly disposed of is kind of crazy, the insider said. It is. 11 semi-trucks to transport cross-country and then just burn it all down was pretty wild just because you don't want people to have access to it i love that swift herself allegedly did not make the request so she had a hand in planning and designing the ceremony because she didn't want to just be handed a wedding says the source um even if this was her decision like i love it give them nothing yeah the more i think about the wedding we're obviously never going to see a lick of it. And like, I'm actually so OK with that. People can't be normal.

41:29And yeah, burn it. Burn it. I love this. Now, also, people would be like, it's going to a landfill. Well, now it's not like I love it. Then, you know, the emissions from the trucks. I know you can't win. Yeah, I don't know what the right thing to do here would be because you don't want people selling. You don't want your wedding being sold all over eBay, like instant private moments of your life. What do you do with all that? Think about like flower walls or whatever. Flower walls are going to die. Sure, no, no. I'm trying to think. Like what couch is? Yeah, like look at this piece of equipment, like this TNT. The think. I'm trying to think. Like, what couch is? Yeah, like, look at this piece of equipment. Like, this TNT.

42:07The bar. That looks like the bar. So, the bar that has a TNT on it, I think we're okay to burn. Yeah, it sounds like everything that was burned was personalized. Yeah. But, like, other things, you know, not that they want to spend their time reselling stuff, but, like, a bride in need would love a couch for her wedding. Burn it. Like, I love it. Like, I seriously respect the hell out of this. That's so crazy. I would be shocked. Like, is she getting a lot of hate for this? Are you seeing anything? I'll be shocked if she doesn't. People have a lot to say about it. It's shocking. But I guess I never really thought about like, what happens to the custom furnishings at a celebrity wedding? I've never seen them on eBay, but I guess maybe people don't care about, like, Billie Eilish's wedding enough to sell the furniture.

42:52I would argue they probably don't. But, yeah, Taylor's special. Taylor's different. Taylor has to do things that other people don't have to do. She could keep it all, like, in storage. I think some people would probably keep some of it in a warehouse. Yeah, very sweeper of her to burn it. Maybe that's why i like it this is like a sweeper's dream so final you know i think i would like what i would do is i would keep it in a warehouse it's so not romantic and then i would burn it not romantic like no and it's it's very like it's so drama hunger games yes yes and i'm not even like like that yeah it's like what is the cost of all of this 11 trucks of personal customized furnishings for your wedding.

43:27That has to be about a million dollars. So you might as well. You literally just took a million dollars and burned it. More than a million dollars because it was a thousand people. Yeah. Well, I bet the chairs were rented. Like not everything. Some things were. Tables. No, no. It's not the whole wedding. Probably like the cocktail napkins or like the linen napkins were all custom. Burn it. She could use those for her for her family home. I am sure they took 10 napkins or like the linen napkins were all custom burn it she could use those for her for her family home i am sure they took 10 napkins 10 but of the things you know like the bar they're not putting a bar somewhere yeah so you would burn that i guess yeah but i when you think about the whole

43:57wedding being burned that sounds extreme and you think about just like a couple things that but no it's 11 trucks at the end the day, it's like so wasteful. Period. It's so wasteful. Crazy. Did I say stand there and look stupid? No, I said burn it. Literally Taylor Swift. Are you ready for our third story? The Kardashian-Jenner sisters cozy up to Santa in a Skims retro holiday campaign. Skims has been awfully quiet. Skims holiday shop is here, and Kim got all the sisters. She rounded up all of her sisters for a new Skims holiday campaign, a mid-century Christmas-themed affair with a few choice cameos from Santy Claus. For the shoot, the sisters posted in festive wares from the brand's holiday shop

44:41and a home decked out with tinsel trees, wrapped presents, and a cozy fire. You think Kim pays the girls for this? No. I think that she pays them something. Not what they would get if, you know, Kendall was doing a Victoria's Secret campaign. But like, you know, a day rate or whatever. Like you sort of have to cover per diem, as they say in the industry. But it actually, like, what are the politics of i don't know because i could really argue both sides like because once you start paying people what's there's not even a right amount and if she's a lot of times when the girls work together it's like a collab so it's like push x kyla cosmetics no no no everyone wins that's different but here it's like

45:20what what are you going to pay kendall her actual modeling rate plus now i'm the face of your holiday shop like no are you going to pay kendall her actual modeling rate, plus now I'm the face of your holiday shop? Like, no. Are you going to pay Kendall more than you pay Kourtney? No. How is also this not a conflict with Intimissimi? This isn't lingerie. Yeah, it's like the same category. Skims is like technically. But you could call this pajama. Yeah, you could call Intimissimi pajamas too. Yeah, but I think it's more so lingerie. I bet that she had a carve out in her contract that she's going to post Skims. Like, honestly. Yeah, or she won't post it. I'm think it's more so lingerie. I bet that she had a carve-out in her contract that she's going to post skims.

45:45Like, honestly. Yeah, or she won't post it. I'm sure it's fine. But I don't think... She pays. I think it is cleaner if nobody gets paid. And she pays all their expenses, glam, everything. Yeah. But how can you even start to pay them? And also, if I had a business and thinking of my family... If I want you for something, you need me for something. Yeah, I would ask you to be in my campaign and you would say yes because you're my sister yeah but also like they all have their own businesses too so if you know Courtney wants Kylie for Lemmy the precedent is now set we're not paying like yes but also when it's all sisters it's like different it's like you don't want to miss out on all sisters yeah i thought it was a great concept yeah skims like has stopped doing those sort of like buzzy photo shoots for

46:29like what were they doing like quarterly right or are they tapping big celebrities up and coming it girls um they like don't really do that anymore and i kind of miss that this is a great low budget option where you can just have your family do it the girls famously have a hard time getting together they have a hard time getting their family Christmas photo. I hope they went on the set and took a Christmas photo. I actually think this would be a good storyline for Kardashians. Yes. And especially if they want to talk about the payment because I feel like that's something they would talk about here. And I'm just like, I'm genuinely so curious. Yeah, I'm curious too. And it is hard to get them all together.

46:59Were they even all together? Is there one picture of all of them? I know. Like, no. Yeah, and even the ones where a couple of them are together, like you could be photoshopped also someone tweeted something really funny they said i ran before the revolution yeah the aesthetic of it is giving tehran in the 70s like they're calling it like you always see those it's actually amazing to see they show them on shazza sunset a lot like yeah what i ran before the revolution and it's like girls going to college and like it was this beacon of like gender equality education yeah like it's very glad it's also the 70s very glamorous place and the pictures are really quite interesting when you see them and so the aesthetic of it is a very sepia toned groovy as they're calling it in this

47:40campaign mid-century but as the internet's calling it i ran before the revolution yeah that's kind of what it looks like seriously funny even like the way they're like smiling like like or not my grandma my grandma and teyron before the revolution my grandma was a babe seriously funny but i just want to say the photo shoot is amazing it's adorable it really is but i love to see the girls together really funny they talk about that all the time on kardashians like how they literally cannot all get together even for a meal and i find it so unrelatable and so frustrating and unacceptable yeah i agree and it's like your whole thing is family family family family and it's like you all live in the same gated community and you can't have dinner.

48:27And when you do, all you do is sit around and talk about what a big deal it is because you never get dinner together. No. And then they all also say that they always are like home for dinner with their kids. But like, why can't you do that together? They need like a communal cafeteria. They really do. But why can't you put a date on the calendar for like a month from now or two months from now? Like find a day that works and get together. They kind of need to convert because I think that they could all really like benefit from Shabbat. Yeah. Scott could lead the prayers. I find it unacceptable. They bring it up every episode for the past 10 years. And I swear if there wasn't a show and they do it for the show because that's a work day.

49:00They would never see each other. Yeah, that's definitely a huge benefit of the show is like forced time together. Of course, the money as well as a huge benefit. Yeah. But like some of them are just not prioritizing their family. Are you ready for our next story? If it's our next story that's brought to you by DoorDash. You know, we talk a lot about being connected, but real connection is actually kind of hard. Everyone is everywhere. It's so hard for us all to get together physically, mentally, emotionally. So we use DoorDash to close that gap. If a friend is spiraling over a situation, ship at midnight, you're across the country, see a DoorDash in their favorite snack and a pint of ice cream before they even

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51:50Today's episode is also brought to you by tony's the tony box, too If you have a child and you don't have a tony I'm about to change your life And if you have a child and you do have a tony, you know how important what i'm about to say is So we got a tony obviously it was a hand-me-down tony now We have new ones, but I got a hand-me-down from Jax when Ruby was seriously six months old. He's been obsessed with it ever since. So it's an audio box. So it's designed for their hands, powered by their choices, and built to help them grow. It's an audio player designed for kids, loved by kids and their families for ages 1 to 12 and up. Tony Box 2 boosts independence and confidence as they learn, play, and grow. It's robust and ready for almost anything. It's built

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53:54Quote, I've lived a lot of my life in the public eye, but trust me, there's still a side of Lamar Odom you haven't seen. Your penis. Joining OnlyFans gives me a chance to connect with my fans on a whole different level without all the filters well said fans can expect a little bit of everything some surprises and maybe a few things you wouldn't expect from me i'm not giving away too much yet you'll have to subscribe to find out just know i'm keeping it real and nothing's off the table not even my dick now having an only fans doesn't necessarily mean like you're getting naked yeah i think it's a safe assumption otherwise you would probably go to patreon or substack or like literally anywhere else like

54:38that's like where because only fans is really just like exclusive uh subscription content right people choose to get nude because that's become the brand of OnlyFans. Right, whereas people choose to do subscription content for podcasts, they choose to do that on Patreon. People choose to do subscription podcasts for blogging, they choose to do it on Substack. But technically, you could get naked on Patreon. Yeah. You could get naked on Substack. Actually, I don't know. They might have like a policy about nudity, but you could do – I know a lot of people who do Patreon for their writing, even though you tend to do Substack for writing. Yes, but I'm just saying it doesn't doesn't mean platform attracts a different type of to be

55:07naked to get on only fans you're just trying to give subscriber bonus content there was also a big push by only fans a few years ago to try and get subscription content on their platform that wasn't new they reached out to us they really wanted us to move our patreon over there but honestly the stigma was too much yeah and i feel like they've given up on that. So if he's joining OnlyFans instead of Patreon, instead of Substack, it's safe to assume it's going to be titillating. Yeah. And this just really bums me out. I always go back and forth. I ping pong between like how I feel about Lamar because I'm currently not liking. Yeah. After watching the documentary and like seeing what he'd say about Khloe and then hearing

55:42that Khloe's experience after participating in the documentary was like so negative and she like was really hurt by the things that he said like i'm actually so over him like he pisses me off but he is always lamby and this is just sad because obviously like you do this for the money that's where we're at yeah and this is a person who had like enormous success in their life um like one of the best players for the best teams at the height of their franchise and it's like to know that he probably is broke and literally has to show his penis on the Internet for money like that's sad. And what kind of person subscribes to Lamar Odom's? A curious one. Like, you know, and do men have as much success on OnlyFans as women?

56:19No. Because there's not as many women who are like OnlyFans patrons. I think it's safe to say like porn is more of a male dominated consumer in general. That's not to say that women don't and can't. Of course they can. But I would argue if I had to bet, I bet I could look it up. Like what's the gender? What's the percentage of like women who are consumers of porn and men? I would, I think. Oh, I'm asking Chad something and then I want to tell you something I heard about Chad today. Oh my God. My best friend. What is the breakdown of men versus women who purchase OnlyFans content? Yeah. No, it was like the story of this woman who died from like taking medical advice from Chad. I was watching the thing on the free press all about it and it was like, obviously so

57:03sad. Hold on. 80% men, 15% women, other undisclosed 5%. Okay. So yeah, that's what we said. Yeah. She died because she has epilepsy and she was like working with chat on dosing down her meds eventually to the point of like nothing. And her family's now suing open AI because like chat was like very encouraging of her being like, stick with it. Like you got it. She's like, I'm not feeling well. What should I do? And so I was reading the comments because my first thought was like very encouraging of her being like stick with it like you got it she's like I'm feeling not feeling well what should I do and so I was reading the comments because my first thought was like oh my god that's so sad because I do use chat for

57:30medical stuff all the time always really low bar medical stuff like what is this bug bite or like is this normal normal like never like high level medication like um and that's why I think chat is good because like if I have like a tiny rash to get a doctor's appointment it's like a week's long thing where it's like it's probably nothing but no if I'm taking serious medication for like a diagnosed illness and I was wondering I was like this is awful and I feel so bad for especially for her family but like who thought this was a good idea and I was relieved to see people in the comments being like this is so sad but like where's the personal accountability of course like a life-saving medication and you're gonna tinker

58:04your dose with chat like no to the point of being on none. Right. Not even just not 40 milligrams to 35. In my experience, whenever I'm talking about like medical stuff with chat, they always say consult with the doctor. I know to the point where it's annoying, but I was reading there and chat like never said that to her. It's very personal. So chat might know that you're like a worrywart and they would recommend you go to the doctor and then they'll tailor those recommendations to you. Maybe this person knew chat and like knew that they were like very anti-doctor or whatever, you know. It was a really sad story. That is really sad. But I agree there needs to be personal accountability. Chat didn't just ping her one day and say go off your medication.

58:39Right. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Something that's just going to change everything. And not Lamar being on OnlyFans. That changes nothing agreed next um and i feel like something that we've really come full circle on because i feel like when we started talking about this it was like when we were early days of toast like in the pink studio in the pink studio no no you'd never guess oh okay you'll never guess but a new study has and this i guess would be like environmental news a new study has come out that paper straws are worse for the environment than plastic ones. I could have fucking told you that. You guys, a damning study out of South Korea has revealed that paper straws-

59:13And shout out to South Korea, because this is a study that would have been- This is an unpopular opinion. Nobody wants to hear this. It would have been buried in the States. Yep. So here's everything you need to know, and you need to know the details, so the next time someone offers you a paper straw, can shove it up their ass a damning study out of south korea has revealed that paper straws might actually be worse for the planet we've seen ben's new t-shirt no he bought it on like tiktok shop it's like a animated turtle and it says like maybe the turtle needed the straw and it's the turtle doing blow with his jaw it's insane he comes in he's like i got a new t-shirt. I'll show it to you. It's fucking crazy.

59:47Oh my God. Might be worse for the planet than plastic ones, especially when their life cycle is traced from the factory floor to the landfill. The findings suck the air out of some of the long-winded environmental protests which claim for a decade that plastic straws were on par with toxic fumes or forest fires and fought to make ice lattes nearly impossible to drink through a soggy, wilted tube of cardboard. Tube, literally an old school tampon applicator. The research comes from South Korea's Ministry of Climate, Energy and Environment, which analyzed four types of straws. Paper, plastic, biodegradable plastic and sugar cane based across 16 environmental categories. That's the crazy thing about the straw thing is that, okay, fine.

1:00:28Maybe let's say we found out plastic was bad. There were so many options. Have you ever had like a plastic straw made of corn? It was so durable. It was so fucking hard. Like the corn syrup ones. Yeah. Insane. There were so many options. Like why we were relegated probably because it was the cheapest to paper is insane. Just wait. Turns out plastic beats them all. Traditional paper straws showed the lowest environmental footprint in 10 of the 16 categories. Oh, sorry. Traditional plastic straws, sorry, showed the lowest environmental footprint in 10 of the 16 categories, including human toxicity, particle matter, and overall climate change impact. Meanwhile, paper straws were found to generate over six times more carcinogens than plastic,

1:01:08along with double the impact on environmental acidification. Well, first of all, for every one plastic straw, you need about 30 paper straws. So just like in its volume. As for bio-PE straws, the kind made from renewable sources like sugarcane, they produce 16 times the carcinogenic impact of standard plastic straws. Plastic wins again, along with six times the acidification damage let me tell you why this but aren't paper straws better because they can be recycled no the study found that because paper straws are so small they routinely slip through sorting equipment at recycling facilities meaning almost none actually get recycled furthermore their water resistant coatings and industrial glues prevent them from

1:01:45breaking down easily, demanding more energy during processing and leaving open the possibility that microplastics could end up in the recycled pulp anyway. Confronted with the findings, a South Korean lawmaker criticized domestic environmental groups and his own government for prioritizing feel-good narratives over hard science. The government must acknowledge the failure of its greenwashing policy, which fixated on ineffective substitute materials. That's my king right there, scientist of the week. Literally. We need another frame. And of course, the public agrees. 87.5% of South Korean citizens dislike paper straws. I think that number probably is similar in America. Now, where's the accountability here?

1:02:29You know who started this, of course. Adrian Grenier. That motherfucker, Adrian Grenier. Do we get enough? Like, where does he come into this? Like, he took credit for it at the time. He's been real quiet since South Korea dropped this case. Where do we sort of find, who do we, like, where's the blame? Yeah, there's probably a lot of people to blame for me like he got all the credit at the time so you will also bear the responsibility to adrian grenet i honestly starbucks it was huge when starbucks switched even though they never switched i will be waiting for a statement yeah from adrian i think also it was such an annoying thing to request of people because people really do use straws a lot.

1:03:05You know, there is an argument to me that it's actually quite ableist to get rid of straws. But like straws are just like a very small daily thing that people use. And we have to give it up and like inconvenience ourselves so much when like literally the damage done on like one celebrity's private plane is equal to like my lifetime of straws. It's like, are you fucking serious? So it was so unreasonable to ask. And it was so trendy and so popular. Literally. It's so funny. I made my McDonald's TikTok yesterday and people were like, oh my God, you're so lucky. Like you have a plastic straw. I didn't even think about it. And it must be regional. It must be based on like state law because I guess Florida,

1:03:37they don't give a fuck. But I think in New York and New Jersey, you do get a paper straw when you order McDonald's. And it's like, it got to that level. It's at state legislature. That's insane. I don't know how we turn it back, but it's time to turn it back. And I just remember when this came out and people were doing plastic straws and everyone started like, you know, trying to be safe and get a reusable straw. And I just, I never gave in. I have the biggest box of plastic straws in my house. And I'm so proud of myself. Me too. You know, for trusting my gut. No, and we get hate all the time. For plastic consumption, especially straws. And I never, ever, and I'm very proud of myself. Me too. You know, for trusting my gut. No, and we get hate all the time. All the time. For plastic, consumption, especially straws.

1:04:07And I never ever, and I'm very easily caught up in trends. Of course. I never gave into this bullshittery. And it does feel like I am better than others. And I'm going to need everyone to walk it the fuck back. And if you try and give me a paper straw, I'll be printing out this study. It's honestly like you giving me a gun. And handing it to you. And I will personally be knocking on Adrian Grenier's door. Like, I demand accountability from the person who started this. I don't want to see Adrian Grenier on a red carpet doing an interview, doing a podcast without someone asking him for comment on this. He should not feel comfortable. He should not feel comfortable talking I just want to say. He should not feel comfortable talking publicly.

1:04:48He needs to address it. Do you believe Adrian Grenier came from a good place when he started? I don't think so. That's really kind of you to say. I do. But at some point, like the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don't think it came from a good place. There's like $8 worth of Jarlsberg in there. I think it came from a place of like superiority. You even though he really does like walk the walk he like lives on a like a compostable farm with his like eight kids like he really um does he yeah he lives like on this huge piece of land outside of austin it's all you know non-waste they use their bath water to make coffee like kids no he's got like three but you know what i mean and he's like very very crunchy well he crunched in the wrong direction he crunched at the wrong people because

1:05:31and i just love what they're doing over in south korea like i said i love what they're doing over in south korea like innovating and beauty and and doing important scientific work such as this so So thank you to this person. And thank you to... Thank you for never giving up, you know? I never gave up. Because you would have just assumed your paper's better, it disintegrates, it recycles. Sure, sure. And it's killing you. Yeah, it's killing those turtles you claim to care about too. They didn't say anything. I think the plastic straws are probably bad for the turtles. I think like literally one time and that one picture went viral of like this big ass plastic straw penetrating the nose of a turtle and i just want to say survival of

1:06:13the fittest i don't think it was like a chronic issue where like turtles were washing up on shore with straws punctured through their nose maybe the turtle needed and maybe the turtle needed the straw i'll post a link to that t-shirt, you guys. Get one for the man in your life. I'm cracking. Well, that's our show. That was a good one. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, the Golden Globe nominated, nominated show, where we listen, no, where we deliver the fast-five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcasts anywhere.

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