What is Rory Stewart's abusive spouse analogy for Europe's dependence on the US?

Rory Stewart compares Europe to someone living with a wealthy, abusive spouse who asks how they would ever cope on their own. He concedes the spouse has a point: Europe would be worse off building its own Patriot missiles, satellites and AI systems. He argues the dependence is now a threat to national security in itself, so Europe has to plan 10 to 15 years ahead and leave anyway.

• Stewart says a bully cannot be charmed into letting you go, so leaving will mean being bullied on the way out.
• He names officials such as Marco Rubio and Elbridge Colby as voicing the view that Europe's middle-power ambitions are a waste of time.

▸In their words

“the only way that you're going to get out of a relationship with a bully is through them bullying you.” Rory Stewart · at 29:14 — open in the transcript →

Source: our own transcription of the episode. The full conversation is on The Rest Is Politics (2026-10-20). Read the whole episode summary →

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