What does Emma Levine say about hiding a terminal illness or death from a relative?

Responding to a listener whose family hid her brother's stage four pancreatic cancer, and then his death, from their mother for five months, Emma Levine said such deception is usually appreciated only when it is temporary. The truth has instrumental value: grieving, planning and the chance to say goodbye. A lie kept up for years compounds, eroding closeness and requiring ever more lies. She called a radiation oncologist's plea to discuss painful truths great advice.

• A listener named Kate said hiding her assault from her grandmother for five years meant she could never be honest with her again.
• Levine cites research that the more people lie, the less guilty they feel about future lies.
• She notes that some collectivist cultures keep a diagnosis from an aging patient while the rest of the family knows.

▸In their words

“those types of deception tend to be appreciated only when they're temporary” Emma Levine · at 1:35:20 — open in the transcript →

Source: our own transcription of the episode. The full conversation is on Hidden Brain (2026-09-14). Read the whole episode summary →

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