Do men and women want different things in a partner, according to Paul Eastwick?

Paul Eastwick says the differences are much smaller than the popular script claims. In speed-dating studies men said they valued looks more and women said they valued ambition and earning potential more, but at the events ambition made both men and women slightly more appealing, with no gender difference. In ongoing relationships both want a partner who supports them and celebrates their successes.

• A speed-dating event Eastwick ran for gay men showed the same pattern of liking partners who were attractive, ambitious, smart, supportive and kind.
• Eastwick notes that research on attraction in same-gender couples is still limited.

Source: our own transcription of the episode. The full conversation is on Hidden Brain (2026-11-02). Read the whole episode summary →

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