688. The Odyssey: Return of the King (Part 2)

0:00Let us now speed Hermes, the guide, the slayer of Argos, toward Ogygia Island, so that he can speedily announce your steadfast decision to the nymph of the beautiful braids, that Odysseus, whose mind stands fast, shall make his journey home. For my part, I will embark for Ithaca, there to breathe purpose into his son, that I might instill a man's courage within his heart, and to make him call an assembly of the long-haired Ithacans and tell all the suitors to go, those men who never leave off slaughtering So that was Dame Edna Reveridge playing the goddess Athena, and Athena is talking to her father Zeus, king of the gods, and this is in the first of the 24 books that constitute Homer's great epic, The Odyssey.

1:16And as we were saying in our first episode, there is something very Australian about the expedition of Odysseus and his men across the Aegean, barbecuing uh on the beach drinking unnecessarily behaving badly and basically comporting themselves like australians on the beaches of the dardanelles and so we felt that australian voices russell crowe in the last episode uh a cross between kylie mcnogan dame edna and this one were the most appropriate i was imagining kylie i have to say. It turned into Dame Edna. If I shut my eyes, I could imagine Kylie and then I'd open my eyes and see you and it would all go. Yeah, nice. That's a lot. I mean, a lot of people's fantasy, actually. Anyway, the translation there is by Daniel Mendelsohn, who's on our bonus episode for Restless History Club members, talking about the Odyssey. Of course, we're doing this series because the film by Christopher Nolan is out this week. It goes on general release on the 17th. And Tom, I know you've gone online, haven't you, to book your tickets because you don't want to miss out. Is that right? Actually, I went to the preview. Okay. That's just showing off, isn't it? It's just showing off. It's the sort of boastful behaviour that you would expect of a Greek hero, I guess. Yeah, it's a Kean behaviour, and I will regret it when I end up in the underworld.

2:32This episode is brought to you by the Lloyd's 5K House Deposit, and this is something that was last seen in 1996. Yeah, so the 1990s looks now like a lost golden age of prosperity and positivity, doesn't it? Think of the sort of the advent of the Blair administration in 1997, all the enthusiasm and excitement that surrounded that, the economic growth of the time, the technological developments, the sort of sense of an endless golden summer where everybody's listening to Blair and Oasis and looking forward to buying their first houses. And that, of course, takes us to mortgages. Now, the good news is that in a nod to the 1990s, Lloyd's are offering 5K deposit mortgages to first-time buyers. So search 5K first-time buyer. 1996 average first-time buyer deposits are based on ONS data. Subject to status, your home may be repossessed if you don't keep up repayments and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Snapdragon. Take the leash off your laptop with the processor that gives you long battery life. Work on the go, jump between back-to-back calls,

3:50stay locked in from brewing morning coffee to burning the midnight oil. Get maximum performance even when unplugged. Finally, the freedom to move across the room or across the world is here. Snapdragon, that's how go to snapdragon.com laptops snapdragon branded products are products of qualcomm technologies inc and or its subsidiaries this episode is brought to you by autoTrader. Now, if car shopping feels like a massive faff, buying your car online at AutoTrader makes it way easier. Really. So you can shop loads and loads of cars online. You can compare prices. You can check the financing and trade-in options. And of course, you can do it from wherever you are. You start online, go to the dealer for your test drive and finish wherever works for you your information your data stays with you so there is no starting over plus you are working with local dealers and there are real people there to help so buy your car online on auto trader really so recap to remind people where we are in the story in the first

5:07episode we heard how odysseus the wiliest the smartest of all the greek heroes fought for 10 years in the trojan war he was the maestro behind the trojan horse then he tries to get home with his men and he is blown fatally off course and tom remind us of all his adventures and what happened so loads of mad adventures one-eyed giants beautiful sorceresses he goes to the uh the underworld meets the ghost of his mother and various of his fallen comrades um and he ends up losing all his fleet he had 12 ships they end up completely destroyed and all his men He is the only survivor of the entire expedition. He has been washed up on the mysterious island of Agigia, ruled by a nymph, the Lady Calypso, that radiant goddess. On Agigia, he has been kept essentially as Calypso's sex slave for seven long years. And every night he would spend with the nymph doing as she commanded. And every day he would weep for Penelope, his beloved wife, his soulmate. And Agigia is described by Homer as being the omphalos of the sea, thevel of the sea a place so remote that plutarch who was writing in

6:30the second century a.d so centuries after homer wrote it would place it five days sail west of britain so that would make it what newfoundland i guess or yeah i mean somewhere on the way to canada anyway yeah but i think plutarch is wrong because in truth a gigia is a place that transcends Yeah, I mean, somewhere on the way to Canada anyway. into a strange dimension where the conventional rules that govern mortals no longer apply. And he has vanished from the world of humans. And Calypso actually means in Greek, she who veils, she who conceals. So it's the same root as apocalypse, which means an unveiling. So Odysseus can't escape partly because she won't let him go, but also I think because it is impossible for him to get out of this kind of strange dimension that she controls and coordinates. But the reason also why Odysseus can't escape, and people who listened to our first episode may recall this, is because Odysseus very foolishly has offended Poseidon, who is the god of the sea. And He'd done this by blinding his son, the one-eyed giant Polyphemus. Poseidon doesn't necessarily want Odysseus dead. He's perfectly

7:52happy to leave him on this kind of island prison with Calypso as the governor. As far as Poseidon is concerned, he can just stay there and rot and never get back home. But Odysseus has a powerful protector of his own doesn't he and this is the person who we heard voiced by Dame Edna at the beginning of the episode so this is another Olympian and this is Athena and she likes Odysseus because she sees him as like-minded because they're both very wise and clever. Yes. I think she sees something of herself in Odysseus. And so during the Trojan War, she had spoken to him. She'd occasionally appeared to him. Over the course of his adventures, she has not appeared to him or spoken to him because she doesn't want to offend Poseidon. Fortunately, however, as the Odyssey opens, Poseidon is in the land of the Ethiopians who are not to be identified with the people who live in what today we call Ethiopia. Their name means people with burned faces, so people on the edges of the world where the sun is at its brightest. They're blessed, they're noble, they're the kind of people that God would like to spend

9:10time having a holiday with. And so, Poseidon is away from Olympus. And so, this gives Athena her chance. And as we heard in that passage with which we opened, voiced by Kylie Stroke, Dame Edna, Athena has a two-pronged strategy. The first is to get Zeus to send Hermes, the messenger of the gods, to Aegigia to order Calypso to set Odysseus free. Secondly, Athena herself will go to Ithaca, Odysseus' home island, and there visit Telemachus adicis's son and basically kind of encourage him to man up to stop being so wet so this is the moment actually where the odyssey begins right where the where the where the story that we encounter in the book starts with athena yes going to see is it going to see telemachus that's the bit that it kicks off with is that right yes important for listeners to understand who've not read the book that the epic does not begin with the fall of troy it doesn't begin with odysseus embarking on his adventures so not basically as we did it in the previous episode it it begins with this moment with athena going down to see telemachus and 10 years have passed since the fall of Troy. So 20 years since

10:25Odysseus had left Ithaca. And people may remember that when he'd left Ithaca, Telemachus was just a baby, but now he is a young man. But to be fair to Telemachus, I mean, he is facing a very challenging situation because Odysseus, before he'd left for Troy, had told Penelope, and I quote, once you see our son starting to grow out his beard, marry whomever you wish. In other words, if I'm not back by this point, you should assume that I'm dead. And people know this. And so Odysseus' hall is now crowded with suitors who are slaughtering Odysseus' cattle and sheep and insulting his household. Penelope, she wants to hold out. She's hopeful that Odysseus will come back. She knows her husband. She's confident he'll come back. And so she doesn't want to marry any of these suitors. And so for years, she's been keeping them at bay with, again, a kind of very famous wheeze. It matches the Trojan horse, her husband's great wheeze. And what she had done was she said to them, I will marry one of you once I have completed weaving a shroud for Laertes, the father of Odysseus. And so she sat at her loom weaving at it all day. And then at night, secretly, she would steal down and unpick everything she had done in the day. And so the suit is a thing of this shroud. It's taking a

11:50long time. It's taken about five years. But in the end, the scheme is betrayed by one of Penelope's servant girls, one of her maids. And so the scheme is rumbled. But at this point, Penelope is still holding out. She doesn't want to give in. And Telemachus also is kind of backing her. But he's just a young man. You know, he hasn't had his father around. He's not kind of trained in the ways of warfare and wiliness and all of that. He's very, very young and inexperienced. And so this is why Athena has decided to visit him, to offer him the kind of advice and encouragement that he hasn't been getting from his father because his father is absent. She disguises herself, doesn't she, as an old friend of Odysseus with the excellent name of Mentor. Yes, she's literally his mentor. Yeah. And when Mentor arrives, Telemachus is very courteous. He's very generous. But Telemachus is extremely embarrassed. There's basically this massive kind kind of it's basically like a stag party that's got yeah they're all wearing plastic breasts and kind of covering each other with shaving foam naked yeah it's basically uh weather spoons at luton airport yes eight o'clock in the morning people are absolutely off their faces already like there's a lot there's all kinds of bants so it's miserable for poor telemachus so athena cheers him up first of all by saying actually i think bants. So it's miserable for poor Telemachus. So Athena cheers

13:05him up, first of all, by saying, actually, I think it's okay. I think your dad is alive, and I think he's going to be coming back home soon. And she then says, you should stand up for yourself. You should show your independence, and you could do this in a couple of ways. So you could summon an assembly of all the people of Ithaca and publicly make a stand in front of them against the a flash. And into his heart, she put fierceness and strength. And this fierceness and strength, as we've been saying, is something that hadn't previously been evident in Telemachus. And so the suitors, he holds this public assembly for the Ithacans as Athena had advised. And the suitors go there and they shout it down, but they are startled that Telemachus has had the initiative and the gumption to call it, and a little bit worried about this sudden display of character and independence. Even Penelope is surprised by the way in which her son is suddenly showing a kind of assertiveness. So that's a marker that he's

14:26laid down for the suitors. And then he heads off for the mainland. And again, he does it without telling them what he's doing. He slips away unnoticed. And he heads off to the mainland of Greece, to the Peloponnese. And there he's going to visit two of his father's old comrades in arms. And the first of these is a guy called Nestor, who is the king of Pelos on the west coast of the Peloponnese. And he had been the oldest warrior who'd fought at Troy. Fabulously ancient and doddery and long white beard and all of that. And unfortunately, Nestor has no idea where Odysseus is, so he's not much use. But he says it's like he's vanished off the face of the earth. I've heard no rumours about him whatsoever. But he kind of cheers Telemachus up by telling him war stories. Nestor's an old man, and so the joke is that this is all he ever does, is tell stories about the good old days. But these are stories that feature Odysseus being an absolute legend. I mean, literally. And he tells stories about how brave Odysseus had been, how clever, and how close he had been to Athena. So Telemachus had seen Menthol turn into a bird and flash off. So it's, you know, the cogs in his brain are starting to work, thinking maybe Athena is on the scene. And certainly the effect of Nestor and his conversation is to make Telemachus feel proud to be the son of such a man and make him want to be worthy of such a father.

15:50From Pelos, Telemachus then heads inland to Sparta, where the king is Menelaus. He is the husband of Helen, whose abduction had led to the entire war. Helen, when she comes in to join Menelaus and Telemachus in the great feasting hall, she immediately recognises him as Odysseus' son, because Helen is the daughter of Zeus. She has a kind of witchy quality. She has kind of supernatural powers. Helen sits with Telemachus, and she tells him a story about Odysseus, how back in the days of the Trojan War, he had infiltrated Troy disguised as an old beggar and that he had disguised himself so effectively that he'd had himself lashed across his back like a slave so that when he came into Troy, people could see these marks and it would have seemed impossible to the Trojans to think that this could actually have been a great hero. Helen boasts to Telemachus, I alone saw through his disguise. Of course, she could have betrayed him, but she chooses not to. She says, for by then my heart had long since been bent on going back home. Menelaus then tells a story also about Odysseus, how they've built the Trojan horse and the Greek

17:07heroes, the Achaean heroes have hidden themselves inside the great belly of the horse. And then Helen had come down to them and started calling out in the voices of their wives. So again, this is the kind of the witchy quality of Helen. And it's undermining her claim, actually, that she was now on the Greek side. I was about to say, she's playing both sides. Yeah, she is playing both sides. Yeah. And the men inside the horse, they hear that what seems to be their wives, they're so homesick, they're so longing for their wives, that lots of them want to kind of call out and reply. But Odysseus knows what's going on. He keeps very silent. He keeps them motionless. He puts his hand over the mouths of those who look as if they're about to call out. And these two stories, the story firstly told by Helen, then by Menelaus, again, they're illustrating the qualities of Odysseus, how intelligent he is, how bold, how daring, and also how self-disciplined he is. But the most crucial thing that Menelaus tells Telemachus is that he does actually have news of Odysseus. And this is because he had ended up on his journey back from Troy in Egypt. And there he had captured the old man of the sea, he's called Proteus, who is a kind of shepherd of seals, has all kinds of weird supernatural

18:25powers, able to change his shape. So that's where the word protean comes from. But Menelaus had captured him and held him despite all this shape-shifting, and finally had got Proteus to reveal to him all kinds of things. And among the things that Proteus had revealed is the fact that Odysseus is alive. And to quote what Proteus had told Menelaus, I saw Odysseus on an island, his eyes brimming over with tears in the halls of the nymph Calypso, who is holding him there by compulsion. He is not able to return to the land of his fathers. So now Telemachus knows he is alive. So that's where we left Odysseus last time. And we left on the cliffhanger, is he ever going to escape from the arms of Calypso? And I'm happy to say that the answer is yes. And this is down to Athena, isn't it? Because basically, we said that she does two things. She goes to see Telemachus, but she also goes to see Zeus. Yes, her father. And Athena is Zeus's favourite daughter. Poseidon is absent. Athena is basically kind of sassing around Olympus, trying to sort things out for Odysseus and hassling her father. Finally, Zeus gives in to her and sends Hermes, the messenger of the gods, down from the summit of Olympus all the way to the island of Aegygea, this navel of the sea.

19:45And when Hermes arrives there, he tells Calypso, you've got to let Odysseus go. And Calypso has a massive strop about it. And Hermes says, do not provoke Zeus to anger. Do not make him angry. And so very reluctantly, Calypso permits Odysseus to build a boat and she gives him provisions and says, okay, you can go. But before he goes, she makes him a great offer and she offers him the gift of immortality. If he will stay with her and listeners may remember that in the previous episode, we talked about how Odysseus had met with Achilles, the great hero, who is now just a kind of a shadow in the underworld. And Achilles had basically said, you know, life is so much better than death that you should embrace any opportunity you can to perpetuate it. So this is a massive, massive offer. But Odysseus turns it down. And it's one of the great eulogies in ancient literature to the joys and the comforts of marital love. It has to be said, there aren't actually that many. And it begins, it doesn't sound like a eulogy to his wife, it has to be said, but it kind of pivots. So Odysseus says to Callipso, look at my wise Penelope. She falls far short of you, your beauty, your stature,

21:04but she is mortal after all she's not a goddess so you'd expect that you you never age or die nevertheless i long i pine all my days to travel home and see the dawn of my return so he would rather live with penelope and die than live with calypso and live forever and it's's a kind of moving moment, I think. Not many wives would welcome that tribute to themselves that begins with them saying, she falls far short of you. Anyway, Odysseus sets off from Aegygea. And, well, these things always end up going one way, don't they? But actually, at first, it's a bit like Titanic. Everyone talks about the bit where it went wrong, but no one talks about the first couple of days. So in this case, the first 17 days of the voyage are a triumph but then on the 18th day of the voyage poseidon is on his way back from the land of the ethiopians and he sees odysseus below him doesn't he so poseidon is in the sky yeah and it's just this tiny little dot but he's a god i mean of course he can he can recognise him. He's furious about it. And so he strikes the sea with his trident, churns it up, pulverises Odysseus' raft, all the gifts that he's been given by Calypso, all his provisions, even his clothes, he loses them all. So he's now kind of naked, literally naked in the salty boiling sea, almost drowns. There's an island ahead. He's almost

22:26smashed onto the rocks by the waves. And in fact, had it not been for Athena, who personally intervenes to save him, he would have been killed. But as it is with the assistance of the goddess, he is able to crawl himself up onto a sandy beach and he totters up into a nearby wood and there's kind of leaves scattered around everywhere so he hides himself under the leaves and understandably collapses falls completely asleep and sleeps for who knows how long but then abruptly he is woken by the sound of a ball splashing into a pond and the sound of girls shouting and giggling and obviously when you've been through a series of adventures that involve giants devouring your your men or spearing you in harbors or whatever i mean these are these are the kind of things that you want to hear he's still dreading the worst because he's yeah gone through so many terrible experiences but he thinks oh well maybe you know they're just girls maybe it's all right and also he's desperately hungry he's desperately thirsty and so he picks up a kind of a branch with leaves on a bit like adam in the garden of eden he uses it to to conceal his nakedness and he

23:43steps out and emerges from the wood and um in a clearing it's the most domestic scene imaginable it is um a group of girls doing the laundry and they look around and see see what seems to be this awful kind of briny pervert start naked who stepped out from the woods like a kind of flasher and they understandably scream and run away but one of the girls does stay and bravely stands her ground and Odysseus addresses her from a distance he doesn't want to frighten her and he talks to her with absolutely perfectly pitch flattery so he compares her to Artemis the the daughter of mighty Zeus, and he narrates his ordeals, and then he appeals to her for help. And finally, and I love this moment, and I think it's clearly betraying his own longing for Penelope. He's seeing this girl and he's thinking of his own family, and he wishes her a happy marriage. And he says, for there's nothing as powerful or as great as when a husband and wife, united by oneness of mind in their thinking, keep their home together, a great bane to their enemies, a blessing to their friends, and their renown is on everyone's lips. And Sadie and I had that at our wedding.

24:59Oh, nice. Which we had in a church. But important to emphasize, this is very much not a Christian ideal of marriage. This is an ideal of marriage in a world in which it is households rather than individuals who are being joined. And so to be a bane of one's enemies, a blessing to one's friends, this is a dream that's particularly suited to royal couples because obviously the whole health of a city, of a kingdom can depend on it. And as it turns out, Odysseus' words are perfectly suited to the young girl that he has addressed them to because the girl that he is addressing is not an ogress not a witch not a ghost but a mortal princess so the name of this princess is nor sakaya she's uh the daughter we're told of alkinos the great-hearted and his hands lie the power and might of the fyshens and who are these people so the fyshens um to the degree that the odyssey offers one is a kind of a vision of an ideal society so nausicaa's parents the the king and

26:14queen of the phicians alkinos um the king they are wise and generous um they have no idea who odysseus is but they greet him with great kindness and hospitality. So this great quality of xenia, which is so important to the Greeks, welcoming strangers with hospitality. They have a perfect microclimate. So their fruit, their vines, their vegetables are always in season. There's no winter and they have kind of incredible 1950s science fiction style labor saving devices so kind of robotic guard dogs made of gold and silver and they have ships powered by what sounds a little like ai wow kind of that's free thinking they can think faster than than any human being and these ships can travel at a completely miraculous speed and kind of travel the length of the Mediterranean. Self-sailing ships. Self-sailing ships. Yeah. So again, it's this familiar thing that we were talking about in the first episode that you have the fantastical element of an island, but then also there are points of similarity with actual islands that exist in the Mediterranean. Right. So, to Homer's original audience, the location and the description of the physical geography

27:33of Faisa made it seem like it was the island of Cucara, which is now Corfu. We did a bonus with Alex Preston about this for club members going to listen to that. And as we've said, Nauticaea, you know, this princess who's doing the laundry and playing with the ball with her friends and stuff. I mean, this is a world away from the island of Calypso or Circe or whatever. And most amazingly of all, and it's one of the great kind of postmodern moments in the Odyssey, there is a bard at Alcinous' court who seems like Homer himself. Homer traditionally is said to be blind, and this guy is blind. It may well be that that description is what gives rise to the legend that Homer was blind. He's inspired by the muses, as Homer was thought to be, and he reduces grown men to tears with the power and the pathos of his epic singing. This blind poet sings to the court at Fascia. Among the men at this course, of course, is Odysseus himself. The bard is singing about the Trojan War and about the feats of arms that Odysseus himself had performed at Troy. And Odysseus weeps to hear them. It's noticed. And so Alcinoa says, stranger, why do you weep?

28:53And Odysseus finally reveals who he is. And it is this which prompts him to tell the story of his adventures. So the Lotus Eaters and the Cyclops and everything. So this is the narrative that we told in episode one so it's it's brilliantly brilliantly meta you were saying that it's kind of post-modern book and of course there's loads of stories within stories aren't there in the odyssey that's how it works so you can see what would appeal to a filmmaker yeah you know flashbacks and things like that yes and particularly i guess particularly one like christopher nolan who loves all these kind of games with with time and so on um and so Odysseus, he tells his story. And at the end, everyone is silent, held absolutely spellbound all through the shadowy palace. And Alcinous, the king, is so moved that he says, well, we've got to get you back to your home. We've got to get you back to Ithaca. And so at last, 20 years have gone by, but now Odysseus is ready to go home. Got to get you back to Ithaca. And so at last, 20 years have gone by, but now Odysseus is ready to go home. And Alcinous loads one of these kind of free sailing AI powered ships with all kinds of gifts and Odysseus boards it and he curls up and he falls asleep and the ship speeds across the seas. Miraculous power. The morning star rises and as the morning star rises, this ship reaches Ithaca at last and the Phycian crew lift the

30:16still sleeping Odysseus out of the ship and they place him and all the gifts that Alcinous had given him on a beach under an olive tree. And then we're told they themselves went back speeding homewards. And so it is in the most unglamorous, the most kind of anticlimactic manner possible that Odysseus returns to Ithaca. And as had been foretold, he has done so not on his own ship, but on someone else's ship. And he has arrived there alone, but he is at home at last. But is this the end of his troubles? Spoiler alert, it is not. His troubles are only just beginning and we'll find out why after the break. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Right now, all of Mint's plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. Go to mintmobile.com slash history. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra.

31:32Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabytes of hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. This is a paid advertisement for better help. History is full of barriers. Some are built in stone. Others are formed by custom and silence. Rules people absorb without always noticing. Stigma can work like that. Most of us would tell a friend or loved one to get support. We would call it sensible. But when it's us, that same step can feel strangely difficult. Better Helps' 2026 State of Stigma Report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe that getting support is wise. Yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. BetterHelp therapists are fully qualified in the US. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash rest is history.

32:48That's betterhelp.com slash rest is history. This episode is brought to you by TikTok. Believe it or not, history isn't just in textbooks. It comes to life every day on TikTok. Millions of people are exploring the history of music, fashion, food, and art, and discovering new facts about the things they love. One scroll could take you from the roots of jazz to the flavors of ancient kitchens, and the next might reveal a quirky fact about how modern traditions came to be. Discover the past in new ways on TikTok, where curiosity never gets old. Hear me, daughter of Zeus, whose shield is thunder, standing by me always in every combat mission no maneuver of mine slips by you now again give me your best support athena comrade so that was odysseus talking to athena now that's actually not from the odyssey it's from the iliad as translated by robert fagles so it perfectly illustrates how close the two of them had been in the Trojan War,

34:06how they'd been secretly communicating with each other. She'd spoken to him, for example, in that passage that we were just quoting, she speaks to him through the kind of cry of a heron. But here's the twist. Then during the voyage, for the 10 years of the voyage, that communication had basically died. She kept silent because she didn't want to offend her fellow Olympian, Poseidon. But now at last, Tom, Athena is back. She absolutely is. And to have her on the scene for Odysseus is obviously brilliant news. But remember, at this point, he doesn't know where he is. So just to give people a reminder of where we are at the story. Odysseus' wife, Penelope, is in his palace. There are 108 suitors by this point, all kind of competing for her hand in marriage. And they are all of them kind of insolent, violent, and in fact, murderous. And I say murderous because people may remember that Telemachus had gone off on his voyage to see Nesta and Menelaos on the mainland of Greece. He is now sailing back from mainland Greece to Ithaca. And the plan of the suitors, now that they've rumbled where he's gone, is to ambush and kill him at sea before he can reach Ithaca.

35:28So that's bad news for Telemachus. Meanwhile, Odysseus, as we described at the end of the previous half, he has been left asleep beneath an olive tree on Ithaca. And when he wakes up, he has no idea where he is. And so he fears the worst. He thinks, oh, no, this is another terrible trick. Poseidon is still kind of intervening to make my life hell. And so he trudges mournfully, we're told, along the shore of the endlessly clamoring sea, kind of wondering, where am I? And then ahead of him, he sees a very handsome young shepherd lad. And so he hails the shepherd lad and says, where am I? And the shepherd boy answers, sir, you are in Ithaca. So you would think at this news that Odysseus would kind of explode with joy, but he's Odysseus. He doesn't. He disguises his delight and instead invokes the cunning in his heart and tells this absolute kind of cock and bull story about how he's actually a fugitive from Crete. I mean, it's kind of making things up just for the joy of making things up. The shepherd boy kind of listens to this story and then starts laughing. It's not a shepherd's boy's laugh, it's a woman's laugh. And she starts stroking him with her hand and materializes before him as this beautiful,

36:47towering woman. And it is, of course, Athena. And she says to him, a man would have to be crafty as sly old fox to outdo all your tricks. She loves it. She can't get enough of Odysseus' tricks. She thinks it's great. So she basically explains to Odysseus the situation. This is what's going on with all the suitors and this is how you're going to deal with it and she has a plan doesn't she so she's basically going to disguise him she's going to turn him into a beggar so that you will look vile in the eyes of all the suitors and your wife as well as your child yes and so she she turns him into this kind of hideous old beggar and then when she's done that, she says, go to the hut of the local swineherd Eumaeus, who Odysseus remembers from when he was in Ithaca 20 years before. And this is a man who is still loyal to Odysseus and to his house, so Telemachus and Penelope. And meanwhile, Athena tells Odysseus, I am going to go and I'm going to escort Telemachus safely back so that the suitors' plan to murder him is foiled. All of this is what duly comes to pass. Odysseus, he's disguised as a beggar. He goes to Eumaeus' hut. Eumaeus treats him with great hospitality, with great generosity. He's just a humble swineherd, but again, he's a model of xenia, of hospitality.

38:06It soon becomes clear to Odysseus that Eumaeus is utterly devoted to Odysseus' memory. He remains completely loyal to him. But despite this, Odysseus is Odysseus, so he doesn't reveal himself. Again, he comes up with some mad story, says he's a Cretan. There's a bit of a joke here, I think, because in antiquity, the Cretans were always viewed as notorious liars. So Odysseus is kind of signaling that it's a lie. He has this kind of great story saying that he'd served as a mercenary in Egypt, and then he'd had a run-in with Phoenician slave traders. I think the thing that's interesting about this is that it clearly reflects the world in which Homer is writing this epic down, rather than the age in which Odysseus is meant to have missed. Going to serve in Egypt as a mercenary or having run-ins with Phoenician slavers, this is much more appropriate to the 8th or 7th centuries BC than to the Bronze Age. So it's like the register has kind of slipped. Yes, slightly. And it may be that that's the whole point, that this is a lie, see than to the you know to the bronze age so it's like the register has kind of slipped yes slightly yeah and and it may be that that's the whole point you know that this is a lie you know again this is kind of quite post-modern that Odysseus is telling a lie Homer is telling a lie there's a kind of right you know hall of mirrors there um Odysseus also having come up

39:21with this kind of again this cock and bull story to Eumaus, he tells Eumaeus, I have news of your master, your missing master, Odysseus. He is on his way home. But Eumaeus, who's believed everything else that Odysseus has told him, all of which is a lie, this one thing, which is the truth, Eumaeus does not believe it. And he tells Odysseus, the storm winds have snatched all his renown away. So Eumaeus basically thinks he is at the bottom of the sea. He is drowned and dead. Now Telemachus has gone away and the suitors are waiting to ambush him. But Athena saves him, doesn't she? And brings him back safe and sound to Ithaca. He goes straight to Eumaeus, to Eumaeus' hut. But Eumaeus is out. And now comes one of your favourite moments in the whole story. It's one of the great, great moments in Homer because now is the meeting between the father and the son. So Athena, she's disguised Odysseus as a beggar. All that goes. She restores him to his full stature and nobility, gives him a kind of little touch of stardust so he looks even better than normal. And at first, Telemachus just cannot believe that this father, who he doesn't remember at all, he'd just been a baby when

40:37Odysseus left, he can't believe that Odysseus is back. But then to quote Homer, he twined around his noble father, wailed as the tears poured down, and a desperate longing for weeping welled up in both of them. And so, father and son, they embrace lots of sobbing. But there's a time when the sobbing has to stop because there is a lot of suitor killing to be done. And this is now absolutely Odysseus' purpose. And at first, when he tells Telemachus this, Telemachus is very sceptical because remember there are 108 suitors and there's only the two of them. But Odysseus says, look, I'm a hero. I've killed a lot of people. And also we have Athena on our side. And on top of that, I am the cleverest man in the world and I have a cunning plan. So here is my plan. I am going to infiltrate the palace in my brilliant disguise as a beggar. Your role, Telemachus, when the moment comes, is to remove all the weapons that are hanging in the hall and which the suitors might otherwise be able to use you've got to remove them and conceal them and what you should do is to leave just two swords two spears two shields and that will be for our use and then if we are armed the suitors aren't we should be able to deal with them

41:59i am confident of our ability to pull this off. So the excitement mounts, we're approaching the end game now, the climax of the Odyssey. We'll start the very next morning. Tom, take us into the story. Okay. The suitors have come back from their failed attempt to ambush Telemachus. Athena had managed to trick and fool them. And so now they've come back to Odysseus' palace and people may be wondering, well, why don't they just kill Telemachus in Odysseus' halls? Well, the reason for that is that they don't want to risk the anger of the gods, or indeed the people of Ithaca, by publicly murdering Odysseus' son. That means that when Telemachus comes back from Eumaeus' hut after meeting with his father, they leave him alone. They eye him warily, but they don't attack him. Telemachus is able to go to Penelope to talk with his mother and to tell her what he has learnt in Sparta, that Odysseus is alive. He does not tell her that Odysseus is back and that he has seen his father. He's proving himself a slight chip off the old block there. He also introduces her to a guy called Theocliminus, who is a wandering seer that he has brought back with him from Sparta. So it's the kind of thing you bring

43:18back from your Greek holiday. You'd pick up a wandering seer, I think, say, look what I've got. And Theocliminus also has amazing news. And Theocliminus says to Penelope, Odysseus, even now, back in the land of his fathers, already settled or on the move, learning of these wicked deeds is here. And he is sowing seeds of evil for all the suitors. But Penelope doesn't believe him, thinks that this cannot be true. She's been told so many lies over the years. She just can't bring herself to believe this news. But of course, it is true because all the while in his beggar's disguise, Odysseus is approaching the gates of his palace. And on the, he has a run-in with his old goat herd, a guy called Melantius. Melantius is very much not like Eumaeus. Melantius feels no loyalty to Odysseus, shows no courtesy to strangers. When he sees this old beggar, he gives him a kick, not realising, as he does so, of course, he's kicking his own master. So that is something for Odysseus to bear in mind, the fact that his goat herd has kicked him. Will he reckon awful vengeance? Well, time will tell. And now he comes up to the gates

44:37of his palace. And as he approaches them, he sees on the side of the road, lying on a dung heap, riddled with flies, an old scabby dog. And this dog is Argos, his beloved hunting dog, the dog that he had raised by hand as a puppy before he left for Troy. And as he walks past in his disguise as a beggar, nobody else recognizing him. Argos does recognize him, raises his head, pricks up his ears, wags his tail. And then, quote Homer, his fate, black death, took him in its grip. The moment he saw Odysseus after 20 years had passed. So the single most tragic moment in the Greek history of relationships between pet owners and their pets. Very sad moment indeed. Very famous. Yeah. So now in his beggar's garb, Odysseus, after 20 years away, goes into his palace. And Melantius, the goat herd, mad Melantius now, and who's teamed up with his sister Melantho, who is a concubine of one of the suitors,

45:54they mock him, don't they? Because they just think he's a beggar. He's just a tramp or whatever. Yeah, they've got no time for him. And also they've got no time for Penelope either. Neither of them are loyal to Penelope in the slightest. Odysseus disguised as a beggar is led into the hall. And one of the suitors, a guy called Antinous, Robert Patterson, I think, in the Christopher Dolan film, he throws a footstool at Odysseus. And to be fair to the other suitors, they do think that this is poor behavior. They think, you know, you really shouldn't just throw stools at beggars. That will bring bad luck. The gods will be angry. And so they make sure to give the old beggar some bread and meat and to kind of welcome him. And so the beggar is kind of sat at the side of the hall, the disguised Odysseus, and Penelope comes down and she notices him. And she thinks, oh, he has the look of someone who might have wandered in far lands. Maybe he has news of my husband. And so that evening she summons him for a private conversation. She doesn't recognize him. confess to him all her grief, all her longing for her husband, and all her dread that she simply won't be able to keep these suitors at bay for much longer. The disguised Odysseus replies to

47:15this by saying, well, I have news of your missing husband. I've seen him. He gives a description of Odysseus that is so convincing that Penelope is persuaded that he's telling the truth. And she starts weeping the thought that perhaps Odysseus, her husband, really is out there. And the beggar says, you are right to have hope. Trust me, Odysseus is on his way. And Penelope is so happy about this that she says, look, you're covered in scabs and dirt. Let's have you washed. And so she summons an elderly attendant in the palace, Eurycleia, who had once been the nurse of Odysseus, so knew Odysseus very well and intimately. Penelope orders Eurycleia to wash the feet of this old beggar. And Eurycleia does so. And she sees that there is a scar on the thigh of this beggar. And she recognizes it because this was a scar that Odysseus had got as a young man when he'd been out hunting boar with his grandfather. And Eurycleia, because she had often washed Odysseus, of course, she now recognizes it. And she says to him, truly, you are Odysseus, dear child. And Odysseus said, be silent.

48:31Do not reveal who I am. Puts his hand over her mouth, almost throttles her with his desperation not to have his secret betrayed. And so Eurycleia keeps the secret. And he then goes back to his conversation with Penelope. And Penelope says, look, I've got a plan. best way that I can think of to keep the suitors at bay. What I'm going bow and then shoot an arrow through 12 double-headed axes lined up in a row in the hall. This was a favourite party trick of Odysseus'. If one of you can do that, then you will become my husband. And Odysseus hears this plan and he says, yeah, that is brilliant. That is a tremendous plan. Because of of course it completely dovetails with what he wants to do and i think there is an ambiguity in homer there is the possibility that maybe penelope has recognized him yeah but she is a woman of tricks like he is they're kind of starting to play this game where they're each telling tall stories to the other, not quite revealing. I mean, it's not absolutely stated, but I think part of the fascination of the scene is that. Meanwhile, Odysseus has gone down, he's lying in the hall and he can hear

50:05various slave girls in the household slipping out to have sex with the suitors who've taken them as concubines. And he's furious about this. He's anxious about how he's going to deal with the suitors. Is he taking on too much? And so he can't sleep. But then Athena appears to him, reassures him. And as she had granted Penelope the gift of sleep, so Athena grants Odysseus the gift of sleep. And both husband and wife get the rest they're going to need for what is going to be a very, very momentous day. All right. So the fateful day has dawned at last this is the day when there's going to be this contest with the bow and the axe for the hand of penelope the suitors are in great form they're feasting they're fighting with each other they're throwing bones at the beggar who is of course odysseus yeah but odysseus and telemachus are getting ready for what they know will be a decisive moment so telemachus has taken the weapons out of the hall hasn't he and they have eumaeus on hand who's the one guy that they can trust uh there's also another cow herd i think is that right yeah so eumaeus is the um is the the pig herd the swine herd um And this guy is the cow herd, Philotius.

51:25He's also loyal. And so Odysseus hasn't yet revealed who he is to either of these guys, but he knows that he can trust them. So they're on hand. And then we've got the wandering seer, who Telemachus had brought back from his holiday to Sparta with him. And he pops up and the suit is all having a great time. And then he tells them what's coming. Blood is spattered all over the walls and the beautiful rafters. The entry is filled with ghosts. The courtyard filled with them, too, which isn't at all the kind of thing that you want. No. If you're having a great time. So the hour arrives. Penelope enters the hall and she is holding the great bow and quiver of Odysseus and behind her a train of her women holding the 12 axes made of bronze and iron. And Penelope announces to the suitors her decision that whoever can string the bow and shoot an arrow through the axe heads will become her husband. Telemachus then sets the axes in a line along the hall and the suitors all step forward in turn to try and string the bow, all 108 of them, and not one of them has the strength to string the bow. Meanwhile,

52:41as the suitors are doing this, Odysseus has taken Eumaeus, the loyal swineherd, and Philotius, the loyal cowherd, outside. And at last now, he reveals his true identity. And they think this is brilliant. They fall to their knees, absolutely delighted, sobbing with joy. And he gives them specific tasks. Eumaeus is to bring him the bow when the time comes. And Philotius is to lock the gates of the hall so that no one can escape or summon help. Inside the hall, the suitors have all been trying to string this massive bow and failing. And so Odysseus goes back inside the hall and he makes a suggestion. He says, well, why don't we have a go tomorrow? At dawn, the God will grant victory to whomsoever he wishes. And in the meanwhile, he says, while we're waiting, because you're all obviously now at a bit of a loose end, why don't I have a try? You'll find it entertaining watching me, a stooped old beggar having a go. Where's the harm? And at this, the suitors explode in indignation. And Antinous, the guy who'd chucked the stool at him right at the beginning, so the most boorish of all the suitors, he rounds on Odysseus disguised as the beggar with insults. But first Penelope,

53:59and then Telemachus, tell Antinous, show some manners. You are in our hall. And Telemachus tell Antinous, show some manners. You are in our hall. And Telemachus tells Penelope, go to your rooms. So again, he's definitely manned up. I think it's fair to say. And then he gives a secret nod to Eumaeus. This is the signal to, we're about to go. And so Eumaeus, as he'd been instructed to do, goes over, picks up the bow and gives it to Odysseus. And Odysseus tests the bow. He scans it. Homer says that he almost caresses it. And then abruptly, to the absolute stupefaction of the watching suitors, he strings it. And he plucks the string to test his pitch. And as he does so, we're told Zeus sends a flash of lightning from the clear blue sky overhead. And then Odysseus takes an arrow and he knocks it and he draws and he lets fly. And the arrow passes through all 12 of the axe heads. yes, the bronze-weighted shaft, sailed straight through them. At this point, Telemachus reaches for his sword and spear, and Odysseus strips off his rags, and he aims an arrow at Antinous, the worst behaved of all the suitors, and he lets fly.

55:18Antinous, who is obliviously lifting a great golden goblet to his lips as all this is happening, is struck directly in the throat and blood spurts out in a great jet. It's a very cinematic description from Homer. At the spectacle of this, there's complete pandemonium. The suitors all think that the beggar must have done it by accident. Surely, this is the only explanation. But no, because now comes the moment when Odysseus announces himself to the hall. You dogs, you never imagined that I would make my way home from the country of the Trojans. Look how you've wasted my house, how you forced yourselves upon the slave women in bed, how while I was still alive but out of sight you courted my wife and the slaughter begins and it is terrible and it is total but there is a chance for the suitors isn't there because you'd mentioned earlier this uh goat herd melanthius who would identify himself as an absolute villain by kicking odysseus when he was his way in. And this bloke actually slips out of the hall and starts to bring them weapons and armour, doesn't he? He does. But fortunately for Odysseus, he's rumbled by Eumaeus and Philotius. And they truss him up

56:35and they lift him up to the roof beams and they leave him hanging there. And this portends nothing good for Melanthius. And Meanwhile, the slaughter is continuing in the hall and Athena has turned up for the fun. She's not there to help Odysseus, but basically to goad him on and tell him to kill even faster. She materialises first as mentor, so this old friend of Odysseus', which was the form that she'd appeared to Telemachus at the beginning of this episode. Then she turns into a swallow and she perches on the great smoke-blackened roof beam of the hall. This is something that she loves doing. She loves taking on the form of a bird, and particularly when there are spectacles of bloodshed. In the Iliad, she had disguised herself as a vulture, and there are descriptions of her shivering with delight at the spectacle of blood being spilled. Spectacles of blood being spilled is absolutely what she gets now in the Hall of Odysseus. Tremendous violence, tremendous slaughter, all the suitors end up dead. The metaphor that Homer uses is that of fish being dragged onto a beach in nets and speared. There's an echo there of what had happened to Odysseus' men in the harbour of the

57:52Lestrigonians, where the Lestrigonians had gone and speared all his men. So the suitors are wiped out, but they are not the only victims of Odysseus' terrible vengeance. Because when the slaughter is done, he demands to know of Eurycleia, his old nurse, which of the servant girls have been sleeping with the suitors. And Eurycleia replies, well, there were 12 of them. So it's a bit like post-Vichy France. They are female collaborators, horizontal. That's exactly the analogy I thought of. And their fate is horrible, isn't it? Yes. So they are told to carry out the corpses of the suitors, among them their dead lovers, and then to clean the hall, the tables, the benches. Meanwhile, Telemachus has strung a ship's cable from a pillar to a beam. And from this cable, the maids are hanged. And to quote Homer, horrible description, just as when some thrushes with slender wings or some doves go crashing into a snare. And we're told that as they are throttled, the girl's feet twitch. And then Homer says, but not for very long. I wonder if Tom Holland's going to be doing this in the film because he's Telemachus, isn't he?

59:09I mean, it's genuinely interesting to see whether the slaughter of the servant girls is included. I can't imagine Matt Damon doing it, but who knows? It'll always be interesting to see whether Melanthius features as a character in the Nolan film, because he is given a particularly horrible punishment. So his nose and ears are sliced off, his genitals are cut off and fed to dogs, and his hands and feet are amputated. And Homer does not specify whether he dies of this mutilations or whether he's just left to eke out a hideous living as a beggar. Yeah. What would one prefer? I don't know. There is a lot of brutality in this world. But Eurycleia, I mean, she thinks it's all brilliant. She couldn't be happier, the spectacle of all this slaughter and bloodshed and castration. And in fact, she's almost laughing for joy as she rushes up to tell her mistress, Penelope, what has been going on. But Penelope still can't quite believe it. Or does she? Is she still playing games? And she comes downstairs and she gazes at Odysseus. And Homer says that she is torn by uncertainty. Sometimes as she stared at him, she seemed to see his face, but sometimes she failed to recognise him dressed in vile rags. And Telemachus can't believe this. How can his

1:00:25mother possibly doubt that she is gazing at her husband, Telemachus' father? But Penelope says, look, if he truly is Odysseus, we will know each other in our own ways. We have signs, we have secrets that are known only to the two of us. And Odysseus smiles at this. And again, I think there's this sense that they're playing the kind of games that perhaps they played before he left for Troy. And so he says, run me a bath. And Penelope obeys and a bath is run for him. And then when he steps out from the bath, we're told that Athena poured great beauty upon his head. But Penelope, she's still not welcoming him back as her husband. And Odysseus says, your heart is made of iron. You are the hardest of women. But Penelope says, I don't care. I'm not going to be taken for a fool. And she says to Eurycleia, go and move the bed out of our bridal chamber, the chamber that Odysseus, what do you mean? This bed can't be moved because when I made

1:01:48it myself, I fashioned one of the four boasts out of a living olive tree. And I had then built the bed chamber around this living olive tree, around this bed that I've made out of it, adorning it with inlays of gold and silver and ivory. So in other words, the only way that the bed could be moved is if someone had cut the living trunk of the tree. And this is something known only to Odysseus, only to Penelope. And so when he says this at last, Penelope's knees give way and her heart as well. And she embraces him and she kisses him and she is struck in her joy by the last of the poem's great similes. And it reverses what had happened because now it is Penelope who is being compared to the sailor lost at sea. She, Homer says, is like a shipwreck sailor crusted in brine who at last treads on dry land after escaping from disaster. And the great moment of husband and wife being joined together after all these adventures, all these many, many years of absence, at last it arrives and they retire to bed and Athena holds back the coming of the dawn so that they can enjoy

1:03:06the ultimate reunion. And the amazing thing is, again, it's another kind of postmodern kind of meta aspect of the poem that they have time because Athena has pushed the dawn back for the pair of them to catch up on what the other has been doing. And so Odysseus basically tells the story of his adventures. So essentially what we covered in episode one. And Penelope tells Odysseus what she's been up to. So basically the outline of this episode. So in other words, the first people to narrate the action, the story of the Odyssey are Odysseus and Penelope themselves i'm the first people to hear it i'm the first people to hear it although obviously not the last so the appeal of the odyssey tom what do you think it boils down to because it's obviously the product of a very specific time and place and yet it's proved so enduring and so influential on western literary culture more generally i think it's exactly that fusion. I think it's the fact that it has gods, it features famous monsters. Speaking for myself, I loved that as a child. That was the quality that I loved. But also, to be honest, I loved the violence of it and the murderous quality of Odysseus as well as the cunning aspect of him.

1:04:24People, I think, enjoy that in stories. There's a savagery to it that's often lost in children's versions, I think. A cruelty. But also, I think the basic plot of it is so adaptable. It can be retold in so many ways, and it has been retold in lots of ways. I are elements of it in Virgil's poem The Aeneid. That in turn influences Dante, who describes Odysseus after he has returned to Ithaca. He ends up bored and he sets sail for his last great voyage to the ends of the world. That is then reworked by Tennyson in the 19th century in his great poem, Ulysses. And I think it's a perfect way to end this because it describes a hero who will never come to rest, who will always be embarking on fresh adventures. And you can see that now with the Christopher Nolan film. There was the Ralph Fiennes film as well, which describes his homecoming. And that is just one of an endless number of reworkings that continue to be made in film, in fiction, in poetry. So let's end it with Tennyson's Ulysses Odysseus saying how he is going to leave on one last final voyage.

1:05:41Though much is taken, much abides. And though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven that which we are we are one equal temper of heroic hearts made weak by time and fate but strong in will to strive to seek to, and not to yield. Well, thank you, Tennyson. And thank you, Tom, for what's been an epic journey, an odyssey, dare I say. Literally so. Through this most influential of all great stories. So next week, we will be somewhere very different. We will be in late 1880s, Van der Sieck, Vienna, for the murder suicide mystery of meierling and rest is history club members can get both of those episodes on monday you won't have to wait and by the way we are running our summer sale so if you want to join the rest is history club this is the moment for a limited time only you you can get 20% off an annual membership using the code SUMMER26. And that offer is valid until August the 31st. So on that bombshell, thank you very much, Tom. Thank you, everybody. And goodbye. Goodbye. Relax and let Ralph's Delivery handle your grocery shopping this week. We'll see you next time. can feel confident it's what you ordered. Fresh groceries your way with Ralph's delivery and

1:07:25pickup. Get free delivery during online deal days plus $30 off your first online order. Ralph's, fresh for everyone. Still waiting in line? Again? That's time you'll never get back. Save time and money with stamps.com. Over 4 million businesses have skipped the line with Stamps.com. Join them to save up to 90% off carrier rates from your computer or phone right now. Print postage for certified mail, registered mail, and packages in seconds. Then schedule a pickup right from your home or office. For a limited time, go to Stamps.com and use code podcast for a free welcome gift taxes and fees apply hello everybody we have absolutely sensational spectacular stupendous news about a forthcoming rest is history live show we do dominic now sometimes there are complaints that people in britain don't know enough about the british empire that they don't study it in sufficient depth. So we are stepping in to make up for that. And we are going to be telling the story of the ultimate Victorian imperial adventure. And that, Dominic, is the Abyssinian Expedition of 1868. And it's, well, I don't say it's brilliant, but it's mad, isn't it? it it is mad to give people a bit of context it's an amazing story the emperor of abyssinia to wadros the second he was ignored by queen victoria who

1:08:50didn't answer his letters so he took some british hostages and then the british sent an expedition to abyssinia to attack his capital at magdala his kind of mountain citadel it's an amazing amazing story a bonkers story and precisely the kind of thing that we enjoy on The Rest is History. Yes, and that I think the entire country could profit from hearing about. So that is what we're going to be doing. It is, I think, a very Flashman kind of a story. Totally. So anyone who enjoys Flashman will enjoy this. And we are going to be doing it at the South Bank Centre in London on the 4th of September. We do have a few tickets for that. We're also doing it on the 5th of September and not to base, but that one is already sold out. So if you want to come, book your tickets for the 4th of September and you can get them at therestishistory.com.