Little Fish: I'm from the future - here's a fart joke

0:00A lot of people think fire is for cooking. Well, that's technically correct. At Teriyaki Madness, we think of it as flavor. Every char mark is a tiny black belt of awesomeness. There's a method to our madness at Teriyaki Madness. What's the best thing about the holidays? Snow days? Eggnog? How about cash back on just about everything you need to make the holidays feel, well, holiday-y? With Rakuten, you get cash back on gifts for everyone on your list, from stores you love like Crocs, Neiman Marcus, and Ulta. You save even more when you stack cash back on top of the season's biggest sales. And beyond the gifts, you can save on decor, travel, and maybe a little something for yourself. It is the most rewarding time of the year, after all. And when it's time to redeem your earnings,

0:52choose from PayPal, check, built points, or gift cards. Eligible American Express card members can choose to earn membership rewards points instead of cash back. Terms and conditions apply. Join for free at Rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of Little Fish. My name is Andrew Hunter-Murray and I'm here in the QI studio with Dan Schreiber and Anna Tijinsky. And we're here to celebrate your facts that you've been sending in to podcast at, hat sign, qi.com. So let's go, Let's have a fact. Who's got one? I got one. Great batch this week. This one's from Glenn Johnson, who says the furthest person who has been away from Earth was Canadian.

1:54This was Commander Reid Wiseman in an interview. The furthest person? Yeah, who has been away. I've checked how it's written, and it is written correctly on the page. I just want to say in defense of this person's facts. What did I say? The furthest person. I thought you might mean the person who has been furthest away from Earth. That's what I meant. And I understand that. And I'm sorry for slowing things down. Go on. Canadian, you say. When Artemis II, the spacecraft, was at its furthest distance from Earth while going around the moon, Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen was positioned in the spacecraft furthest away from the Earth and the rest of the crew at that point, thus making him the furthest person ever out in space.

2:31That's great. It's been a few decades since anyone's got that far. It was Apollo 13 who had to fling around the moon. So they went the furthest ever at that point. That's so cool. So this is a record broken. And yeah, by a Canadian. So Jeremy Hansen, he sounds sounds amazing he started off as a cave nought oh nice yeah didn't um we had some who came on the show a few years ago also astronaut who started off tim peak started off as a cave nought i think they they sometimes are aren't they it's a lot of the same skills that it entails it's all the training it's like different levels of noughts that you are before you become an astronaut. Not everyone follows this system, but cave noughts is one.

3:09It's part of the European Space Agency Cooperative Adventure for Valuing and Exercising Human Behavior and Performance Skills. That spells caves. And they are in caves. Yes. OK. Yes. Right. So one of those things has done a backward job on it. Probably the name. No, I think they had the name and they were like, well, we'll have to do it in a cave now. It'd be silly if we don't now, yeah. Yeah, which isn't, it's not suitable at all. Yeah, so he was a cave naut, then he was an aquanaut, did a mission down underwater for seven days, and then he became an astronaut, and now gone the furthest of any human. What next? Well, good question. What after astronaut? Well, he's a retired naut now. He's a nomonaut. I'mought now. He's a nomonaut.

3:48There's nothing more. He's just a nobody now, okay? No, not a nobody. He's just like the rest of us now. Yeah. Try telling Tim Peake that he's a nobody. He's always popping up doing stuff, isn't he? Because he's been an astronaut. And Tim Peake was an astronaut. Yes, he was. He went to space. You're still dying on that hill, aren't you, Andy? You're not an astronaut until you go Went to space You're still dying on that hill aren't you Andy You're not an astronaut until you go to space Do you want one from me? Yeah Of course Here's one from Chris Swinton It's about Fatboy Slim's dad Okay We're all familiar with Fatboy Slim Yep DJ Norman Cook I call him because we're mates Norman Cook Of course if you were really a mate of his

4:24You'd call him Quentin, which is his birth name. Yes, I don't want to embarrass him. I think he got teased at school and changed his name from Quentin to Norman. And if you were a really, really good mate of his, like I am, you'd call him Pookie because he likes being snuggled in the morning and little kisses on the back of the ear, on the left ear, little kisses on the back of the left ear. That is so gross. Well, this... As an image. This fact is about Fatboy Slim's dad, Ron Cook. Yeah. And the fact is... Possage. Yeah. Sorry? Well, that's what I call him. He introduced England to recycling glass. He introduced the bottle bank to England. Did he? I don't know if you call this something different overseas. International listeners, the bottle bank is where we recycle our glass. He introduced the bottle bank to England. Did he?

5:06I don't know if you call this something different overseas. International listeners, the bottle bank is where we recycle our glass. Yeah. You drop it in and it smashes. It's great fun. And Ron Cook got an MBE for introducing the concept of recycling glass to the UK. Wow. He would sometimes dress up as a character called Ali Jamjar. Okay. A character you probably wouldn't do today, but which was absolutely fine in the 90s. Yeah. Okay. That makes me want to look it up. Yeah, it's fine. It's just a sort of Arabian guy who I think sort of is or has a jam jar on him. Okay. Probably is, right? Is a jam jar. No, he wasn't a jam jar. I don't think so. I looked up a picture of Ali Jamjar. I don't think he is a jam jar.

5:42He's just holding a jam jar. Yeah, it's probably a reference that's been lost on me. That's the thing. I'm sure there was more sense to it than that. So anyway, that's Ron Cook. That's cool. I do think that's rather marvellous. Good on him. And interestingly, his father, Ron Cook's father, so Fatboy Slim's grandfather, was a window cleaner. So glass, again, in the family. Interesting. And Fatboy Slim, in 2002, hosted a gig on Brighton Beach, where 250,000 people came. What a massive gig. And afterwards, the beach was strewn with, what's that? Broken glass. So he would have got a rap on the knuckles for that, I imagine. From his dad? Yeah. Yeah. Should have recycled the glass. Yes. You can't expect Fatboy Slim, after the gig of a quarter of a million

6:26to go round the beach himself. No, but he's literally got the microphone, hasn't he? He could make an announcement saying there are bottle banks. Good point. Should have done that. But then he'd probably think, it sounds like nepotism, doesn't it? He's just trying to keep his dad's business going. You're right. What a great family. Yeah. Illustrious. High achievers. I wonder how far the glass connection goes higher up. Did Fatboy Slim be the first to break the glass, as it were? Oh, lovely. Breaking the glass floor? Yeah. Yeah. Stamping it down. Here's one from me, from my batch, from Ada Campmany. And I think she might have made this up herself, as in it's true. A James Harkins style. I love these.

7:11Yao Ming's longest neuron is about the same length as Peter Dinklage's height. Okay. I know that Peter Dinklage is short because he was in Game of Thrones. He plays, is it Tyrion? One of the Lannisters, does he? He's a short person, so he's an actor. I don't know who Yao Ming is. No, I didn't actually know who either of these people were. He's an NBA star. There we go, he's an NBA star. We feasted together. She goes on to explain the longest neuron in the human body is the motor neuron that runs from the base of the spinal cord to the toes, which is quite interesting. So from your bum to your toes. And so Yao Ming's longest neuron proportionally would be 1.35 meters. And so I was reading up on Yao Ming and he is the product of a project I did know about.

8:02In China, people were sort of bred to be basketball players, which I think some people wonder how definitely it did happen. I think it did. What, like they were growing giants? No way. Because he's tall. Yao Ming is like... I understand he's tall. He's like at least 5'11". No, no, no. He's like 6'8". He's massive. Yeah, yeah. 6'9"? No, no, he's way taller than that. He's 7'6". I'm sorry, what? 6'9"? No, no, he's way taller than that. He's 7'6". I'm sorry, what? 7'6"? Yeah, and a Chinese man in China, men are on average about three inches, two, three inches shorter than they are here. And the Chinese government did very, very strongly encourage slash make tall women marry tall men for a couple of generations,

8:41and then also strongly encourage slash make them play basketball. Oh, so that's, sorry. So there wasn't like some machine kind of like how they turn Captain America. Steve Rogers gets put in a machine and he turns into Captain America. Right. Sorry. No. And actually they were both the... So Yao Ming's parents both also play basketball because they were bred from very tall parents. So they were both incredibly tall. They were the tallest couple in China and they were made to play basketball and they were both very bad at basketball apparently at first but if you just are made to play basketball enough from the age of two then you do become an nba star right um which they almost did and then yaoming did that is fascinating that's great

9:17fact and do we know if there's more chinese basketball players who've been through the same scientific i think there are i don't know't know if we're calling it scientific. Maybe it's encouragement. They weren't in a lab. They weren't grown in test tubes. But I think there are. Very long test tubes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay, well, I've got another fact here. Shall we go? This is from Denver from Antwerp. Brilliant. Yeah. We have Jurassic Park to thank for K-pop. So career with the country whose GDP predominantly relied on manufacturing industries. And when the movie Jurassic Park came out in 1993, the Korean government noticed that it had brought in more money than Hyundai did. So this was a revelation to them, an entertainment thing,

10:00generating more money than a big manufacturing company there. What's going on? Brought in more money in Korea. Yeah company there what's going on brought in more money in korea yeah it's not a korean film no exactly just in the cinemas it just it just raised it was the biggest hit of its day jurassic park right and that extended to every country it was a number one blockbuster quick hand up south korea we're talking about uh yeah sorry south korea here we're talking about just checking because we just said k. Yeah, absolutely. I think you can say Korea. Like you say Ireland, you mean the Republic of. Oh, don't get us into that, Anna. Please don't. I think Korea is acceptable. Anyway, they invested in their entertainment world.

10:35And as a result, there's a few steps, but it leads to K-pop. And now K-pop obviously dominating the world. You've got K-pop demon hunters. They should have made it K-pop Dino Hunters as a tribute. They absolutely should. In fact, you know what they should have anyway, because this is the thing that's happening right now in America, where there's a Christian metal band called Demon Hunter who are now suing Netflix because Netflix has taken K-pop Demon Hunters on the road. They've created a live band of it so you can buy concert tickets and so on. And there's been a band in America that's been going since 2000 called Demon Hunter, Christian metal band. They've got massive album sales. They've done over 600,000 albums.

11:13They play big shows. That's a lot of albums. That's a lot of songs to have to write. They're pumping them out very quickly, saying, really, 600,000 albums. They've sold most bands. Oasis only did two good ones. They have sold 600,000 albums. They've sold most bad... Oasis only did two good ones. They have sold 600,000 copies. But only the first two tracks on each one were good. Not songs, albums. Anyway, they are having huge problems. They keep getting booked for interviews and then finding out that, oh, we thought it was the K-pop Demon Hunters. They're looking out at the crowds of their gigs. There's very confused children standing in the crowd as they do their thrash metal um and so they're suing netflix as

11:49a result to say you can't do this you've ruined our 26 years of livelihood that's cool because if they're big enough that's not just like a puny person suing that for netflix that might actually be a battle right it'd be a battle if it's trademarks if it's all that you know they've got their stuff on their side. Yep. Let's see. Exciting. Yeah. I can't wait. Here's one that came in from Robin. Yeah. Robin writes, Universal Studios spent three years developing a roller coaster that barely makes a sound so as not to disturb local residents. But they didn't account for how much people tend to scream when they're on the roller coasters. This is so good. This is at one of their resorts and they did all this work building a new roller coaster,

12:34which is quite near some homes. And so, for example, it has a 940 foot long sound wall lined with airport grade insulation. Airports are famously noisy places. I don't quite understand that, but sure. The tracks are lined with a particular kind of gravel to mute the vibrations. Unfortunately, local residents say we don't hear the rollercoaster, but we do hear the screams. So they still. Every 30 seconds, all day, you just hear, scream! For 10 hours, you don't hear the rollercoaster. Magic. You just hear screaming. Can they just put You don't hear the roller coaster magic. You just hear screaming. Can they just put a sign up saying don't scream? Do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Why don't they just do that?

13:12Because really, on roller coasters, I always scream. You don't need to, do you? You just know that's the dumb thing on a roller coaster. Yeah. You just know you're meant to. Or helmets, like a full face helmet. That's a really good idea. Oh, like a soundproof helmet. Yeah. Right. Isn't there a fashion for taping your mouth shut while you sleep Have you heard of this? You're looking at me like I'm a weirdo It's something to do with helping your quality of your sleep or something to do with breathing through your nose You're still breathing but through your nose That is a thing of mouth taping while you're asleep I mean there's a thing for everything isn't there I know there's a thing for everything

13:44It sounds very silly I'm saying there's a thing for everything, isn't there? I know there's a thing for everything. It sounds very silly, but... You're saying... I'm saying... Rollercoaster. Do this on a rollercoaster. Right. That makes it scarier. Every child. We're actually just going to leave that on for the rest of the day, if that's cool. Well, that's an excellent fact. Here's another good fact. This is from Ellen Cliff. This is a confusing opening sentence. She says, one of my favorite facts that genuinely depressed me before I went to live in the UK was this. It is that 1.75 square miles of Black Mountain Reserve in the center of Canberra, Australia, has more species of ant than the whole British Isles.

14:27In fact, more than twice as many. That was depressing. She's an entomology nerd. Yeah, right. I know. I think there's a lot to get depressed about in the world. And, you know, on that front, I would say. Pick your battles. Cheer up. Yeah. So, sorry, there's an area of this Australian, do you say Black Mountain Reserve? Yeah, in the middle of Canberra, apparently. And it has over 100 species of ant. In Britain, we only have 41, according to her. Although I had a look and it now looks like we have between 50 and 60. So it's climbing. Great news. Huge news. You can feel a bit happier about life, Ellen. I didn't know we had more than one species of ant. You thought there was just ant? Well, you just see the ants, the common or garden

15:06ants, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about red ants? Yep, good point. Yeah, yep. I haven't developed enough thought to it. No, loads more. I guess they all look quite similar, probably, don't they? I think that's true. I think a lot of ants look very similar. I think that's a really uncontroversial point. Why are we all talking about it as though it is controversial? Because Anna did her thing about Ireland earlier. So I think we're all probably slightly on edge. I think we're a bit on edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't alienate the ants. We don't have any ant listeners we have. Probably safer that we tape your mouth over for the rest of the episode, Anna. Early Black Friday has arrived at BJ's Wholesale Club.

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16:29Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. See terms. It's 6.47 p.m. on a Friday, and a phone is ringing. It's a customer, and they're ready to book. Nobody picks up, so they call the next company. That missed call is missed revenue. With Quo, your team shares calls, texts, and customer conversations in one place. And when no one's available, Quo's AI agent answers, handles questions, and even books the appointment for you. See why over 90,000 companies trust Quo, and try it for free at Quo.com slash pod. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. This is from Anders Callen.

17:12He's just sent a bunch of facts, just bullet point facts. Burt Bacharach's dad was Burt Bacharach. But Burt Bacharach, who we know, is spelled B-U-R-T. But his dad is spelled B-U-R-T. Yeah. But his dad is spelt B-E-R-T. Love it. Because it's arrogant to call your son the exact same name. Exactly. And then how are you going to distinguish when you're saying Bert? Bert. Bert. That is my husband Bert, my son. We've all been saying Bert Bacharach's name wrong's name wrong one more by the way just from anders the actor alan hale who played little john in three robin hood movies invented the sliding theater chair we all know the sliding sorry on first presentation that's an insanely dull fact and there's no link between the robin hood thing and the theater thing well no the link is that if Sorry. On first presentation, that's an insanely dull fact.

18:08And there's no link between the Robin Hood thing and the theatre thing. Well, no, the link is if you need to think, who's Alan Hale? Oh, yeah, he's the guy in Robin Hood. So Little John is the big guy in Robin Hood, right? Yeah. And the sliding theatre chair? I'm not... What's that? Thank you, Anders, because I hadn't heard of it either. Now, immediately, I sort of thought the flippable chair, you know, in theatres that flip up. But they don't slide. It would be awful if they slid. They don't slide. It would be very disruptive. This is what he invented. He invented a chair so that when people need to get past you in a row, you slide it back. You don't stand up. You physically move the entire chair back

18:39so they can walk in front of you. And then you sort of bring yourself back forward again. But to have invented something it has to have actually been used. Good point. And I have never seen one of those. It would ram into the knees of the person behind which I imagine is why it hasn't had a huge uptake in the West End. Well no, but they can just move their seat back. Come on Anna. Everyone move back please. No, this is a better way of doing it than standing. So in the back row move, sorry to interrupt than standing. So in the back row, move. Sorry to interrupt. People in the back row, tragically, those are the only ones that can't move back because of the wall. So anytime someone is on row B walking to their seat,

19:18they get slammed into. But they can see it coming. They've got more time to make their escape. They actually back row need to evacuate altogether. So you're hoping it's row B. You're on row X. You're dead. What the hell? Are these used anywhere? I couldn't see that they were. The point is that he was an amazing inventor. You know, sometimes people come up with ideas. They don't necessarily get used day to day. Apparently he modified the folding chair in theaters as well. So he invented it. There's quite a lot of brilliant things that he did to that. He also supposedly invented a formula for greaseless potato chips. So this is a big deal. Oh God, a huge deal. Yeah. Anyway, there's more from Anders, but maybe we'll save it for another.

20:04Oh, that's terrific terrific that's so good now here's one from stewart laidler which i didn't know which is that at the time of writing there are nine living ex prime ministers of the uk we knew that this is the most that there have ever been the previous high was a tie of five under major i mean that can't have been the previous time. The previous time must have just been when there were eight. Yes, true. Anyway, we're only two ex-prime ministers away from being able to field a football team in the international ex-prime minister's first 11 world championships, which is cool. And I looked it up because I thought that is a lot of ex-prime ministers to have. And we're second in the world. Isn't that cool?

20:46After Switzerland, I'm guessing? Because they have that funny thing where it's every year or every six months they have a new one. It's not quite as we do it. I didn't count Switzerland because I think it's cheating. So where else has the most living... Well, we're tied with the Thais. We've got a Thai tie. Very pleasing. Very nice. And Italy beats us with 10 former PMs. Which is weird because actually Giorgia Maloney is the longest serving leader of Italy since the Second World War. Is she? Yes, she is, but they just don't serve very long. She's only been in since 2022. Sounds like a footballer as well, doesn't she? Giorgia Maloney. Giorgia Maloney taken to the field. I reckon she could kick some ass.

21:19So sorry, but Berlusconi did long stints, didn't he? Was he in the same position? You're right, he did. And yet there have been a lot in between, I suppose. Right. Wow. Although he lived to be really old. Can we name all nine? Gun to our head. John Major. Yes. Winston Churchill. No. No problem. John Major, Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, Andy Burnham, Theresa May. Andy Burnham's not former. Oh, we're doing formers only. Yeah. Oh, we're doing formers only. Major Blair Brown, Cameron May, Johnson, Ross, Sunak, Starmer. I think there's no points. There's no points for naming the Prime Ministers that you've just lived through. It was pretty boring even as I was saying it. Here's another one. This I quite like. It's from

22:03John Ankeny Upon the occasion of Dolly Parton's passing Sad times for all My wife and I re-watched the wonderful 1989 film Steel Magnolias Which I think she was in In the course of that viewing We learned that the playwright Robert Harling Based his play on the real life Of his sister Susan Harling Robinson Julia Roberts plays her Who died of type 1 diabetes based his play on the real life of his sister, Susan Harling-Robinson, Julia Roberts plays her, who died of type 1 diabetes. When the film was made, such care was made for authenticity that the actor who disconnects Julia Roberts' life support was played by a real nurse. In fact, the same nurse who disconnected the life support of Susan Harling-Robinson herself.

22:43Really? In the film. Wow. Isn't that peculiar? Cast specifically? I think it can't have been an accident. They only realised, didn't they? Halfway through filming. He only found out at the premiere. Oh, right. The nurse has changed jobs. That's amazing. I like the claim it's for authenticity. Otherwise people might not believe the story. Yes, that's true. Unless we get the actual nurse. Well, all nurses in Doctors and Movies are played by real doctors and nurses. That's a classic fact. That's why there's such a crisis in healthcare at the moment. Oh, it's a disaster when George Clooney defected after ER to become a full-time actor. It was terrible. He was their best. Fortunately, actors are filling in for doctors

23:25all over the NHS, so we're fine. Very good. Well, shall we do some fact distributions? You're not hosting the show, but sure. She can't answer. But I would like to second Anna's suggestion that we dish out some custodianships. It's a good idea, Andy. Thank you, Anna. Let's do it. So if you join Clubfish, our members club, at the top tier, friend of the podcast, then you will get one of our facts dedicated to you in perpetuity in our Hall of Fame. You get a fantastic looking certificate, which you can print and put on your wall, and you get one of our facts just for you. So let's now bestow a few more of those. Who would like to go first? This one is a fact for Sandy Kroonin. Sandy, take good care of this one.

24:14This is the fact that Iceland imports ice. Lovely. Yes. Lovely fact. I wonder if it's still the case. I think it must be right. It's an industry. They're not importing ice for their glaciers. This is like drinking ice and so on. Drinking ice. Ice for your drinks, rather. I'm going to dish one out now to Gem Pie. And this is the fact that the most dangerous invasive species in Britain is a poo-eating mussel from Transylvania. That's very nice. A poo-eating mussel. Doesn't sound dangerous. No. That's very nice. A poo-eating muscle. Doesn't sound dangerous. No. Sounds beneficial if anything. It's because we play it fast and loose with the word dangerous. Dangerous to whom? It feels like it's not killing people left, right and centre.

24:55Well, James said that one female can produce a billion babies a year. And this was about 10 years ago, so we're probably, I mean, we're wading through them day in, day out now, aren't we? I can't believe we're not nipple high in these words. Yeah. Right, I'll dish one out. This one goes to Aislinn Smith. Aislinn, I really hope I'm saying your name right, because sometimes it's Aisling. I have a relative whose name is Aislinn and pronounces it like that. But you're saying his name is Smith, and I'm absolutely dead certain on that one. But your fact, Aislinn, is until about 4,000 years ago, most humans didn't notice the colour blue. I forgot. I forgot when I ran with this. An ancient theory. I think this was a U-fact, Anna.

25:39Yes. People didn't notice. You know, the sky's there and the sea's there and you can't, you know. Yeah, we thought people weren't really distinguishing between blue and green, I think. And, you know, date it back to lots of Herodotus and other ancient Greek quotes. Well, there is a rule of fashion, fashionable dressing, that says blue and green should never be seen. Blue and green don't go together. Because they're the same. Yeah, because you can't see them. People think you're naked. That's interesting. I'm trying to think if there's any iconic superhero or anything that has blue and green together. Please don't write him because, honestly, I think they do go perfectly well together, but my mum always said that to me and it just has stuck, okay?

26:14I'm sure someone has worked out how to make blue and green go together. If they have, let's let Andy's mum know. Oh, no, don't please. With podcast.qi.com. I'll give you her email address. There is a thing. andysmum at g gmail.com I asked her not to pick that I said it's confusing Okay let's get another one This one is for Kim Belgian fishermen go fishing On horseback Lovely I remember this, this is a very exciting coastal fisherman who are on the coast on horseback and they have nets and they drag them up and down. Are they catching electric fish sometimes? Well, that might be... Electric fish? Something else. You used to go into the water to catch electric eels because sometimes they used to electrify

26:58the horse's legs. Yeah, they would get the horse's legs. I don't think that was a method of fishing them, though. I think that was just something that happened to you when you were in South America and your horse got bit by an eel. No, sorry, you're right. Don't do that. I've got this one for Ian Butterick. This is the fact that in 1921, the news of the world offered a free tea tray to any mother on the birth of her 10th child. Oh. I think if you had eight children, that's maybe a tempting offer. Yeah. Depending on how long the offer lasts, you know. Do you think you would, if you had eight, do you think you'd go for the extra two for the tea tray? You'd probably think you'd be in the paper

27:35as a result, holding the tea tray. Yeah. Maybe because not many people are going to take that up. So suddenly you've got a famous story on your hands. I don't think we have stats on how many they ended up giving out. I would be very interested. That's probably buried in some archive. It would be good to know. It does feel a bit stingy. I do think that other countries sort of have offered large amounts of money to people to incentivise them to have children. This is not the country. This was the News of the World newspaper. I know. It's the News of the World, you know. What are you going to get them? A massive house? Like, you can't. This is a crazy. They need one. That makes more sense. Actually, the Daily Mail always used to give away cottages in the 2010s,

28:142000s and 2010s. Did they, right? There was always a thing on the sort of masthead on the top saying, win a cottage. Yeah. Yes, you're right. I wonder what you got in China for having a tall basketball child. Well, they wouldn't know initially, would they? They'd say this baby's small. Useless. You've got it all wrong. All right, here's another one. This goes out to Kong. And it's that 68% of mountains don't have pointy peaks. Oh, yeah, this is a classic, Dan. Now, I love this one Partly because it's so stupid And also because there was a famous mountain range Called the Mountains of Kong Remember the fictional range that was on maps for hundreds of years Mountains of Kong And this fact goes out to Kong and it's about mountains

28:57That's why I like it And we've also had another person being given a fact today called Kim Kim Kong This is great Let's get them together. But this is if you ask a child to draw a mountain or even an adult to draw a mountain, usually they do it as a pointy peak. That's how we do it. And it just turns out that that's a minority in the mountain world. Who would have thought that eight-year-olds drawings are not a realistic depiction sometimes? You're going to tell me my house doesn't have four windows and a chimney next. Okay, let's do another one. This one goes to Hannah Lauer. And your fact is the oldest your mum joke appears on a 3500 year old Babylonian tablet. Yeah, it's very good, isn't it? Yeah. And the joke is I've just looked at the archive. It's

29:43dot dot dot of your mother is by the one who has sex with her. Who is it? So it's exciting to kind of fill in the gaps. Like a Have I Got News For You challenge. Dot dot dot of your mother is by the one who has sex with her. Who is it? Very good. I suppose implying that she's been getting around a bit. That's the joke, I see. I think that's the joke. Yeah, that's the joke yeah it's good we don't know get her a tea tray she's probably i didn't connect that that's the dot dot dots that i didn't connect to that joke it is amazing always when you look at old jokes how it's all been the same every ancient joke is about farts as far as i can tell. Whenever you come across another one that's a Babylonian tablet,

30:26there's another bloody fart joke. Sometimes a penis. It's good though. If you were then thrown back in time and you were looking for the best way to communicate with someone from the past, fart jokes. You'd have the best. You'd have ones they hadn't thought of because we'd advanced them. But you can't speak their language, so you can't do fart jokes. All you can do is fart. Let's say you've learned their language, but there's nothing that relates you to them. You're going to win them over with a fart joke. I think the joy is that you don't need a language. You can just go... You're saying if you've learned their language, that's the best way of connecting. Yeah, because I think if you've learned their language, then you've got a connection there.

30:59You're fine. You're okay. You can speak their language. You can tell them, I'm from the future. I'm from a place called Hoban. What a weird thing to say to someone when you first meet them. I'm from the future. Are you talking to them, Andy? Or are you sending them on their way? I still think it's weird to go up to someone and tell them a fart joke out of the blue. I would say. You've got to start. Well, let's test it. Let's go. We'll go to the local tube station. Andy, you walk up to a random and say, I'm from the future. I'm here to communicate with your language. And'll walk up yeah why is andy talking in the robot voice i will be doing that you think i'm gonna pass i have an opportunity to use the robot

31:39voice in public you're right it's such a gift. You're going to use it when you can. Ah, well, one more. Let's have one more. Yeah, here's one. Here's one for Sarah. And this is the fact that in the 1920s, scientists concluded that menstruating women wilted flowers. This is a classic Sarah Pascoe, isn't it? Of course it was, yes. Yeah, and we talked about all those evil other things that menstruating women can do. Another thing since the dawn of time, if you can't think of the fart joke, this is another thing that you've got. You can bitch about how menstruating women ruin everything. Yeah, yeah. That's another thing. Say they've destroyed the crop or something. Yeah, yeah. And that will get them rolling in the aisles.

32:20It will. Well, those are your facts. Thank you so much for becoming friends of the podcast to our new custodians that is sarah hannah lauer kong kim ian butterick aislan smith jempai and sandy cronin thank you to all of you who've joined as members thank you to everyone who's joined club fish in general there's so much stuff on there there are longer versions of our weekly episode there are bonus episodes there is our audience feedback show, Droppers Align. There is all sorts of stuff there. If you go to patreon.com slash clubfish, you can join for very reasonable rates or buy one for the fish fan in your life. Christmas, after all, is coming. That's it for this episode of Little Fish. We'll be back again in a week

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